Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Little Mister - 13 Month Update
*I have poor E's 11 month and 12 month updates sitting as drafts. The diary aspect have been written. This momma just hasn't gotten her act together on editing the photos! #momfail At least we're caught up with going forward though Little Mister!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
waiting, trusting and hoping
I posted on IG last night (if you don't follow me there, you should. I post there more frequently and with more personal life stuff than here or Fb lately - StephBWill).
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These devotionals have been so perfect and helped me over the past few weeks. That little face making a cameo has too (along with his brother and their daddy!) ❤️ I'm going off the grid for a couple days as we process and heal. We found out our October babe didn't make it this morning. He/she tried and grew over the past 2 weeks, but there was no longer a heartbeat. Thanks for all of yall's prayers and support! We know God has a plan for us and are waiting, trusting and hoping in Him.
*****
Just wanted to share with everyone who only knows me through the blogosphere. A mere few hours later and RCW and I doing well. We originally intended to have a D&C on Tuesday to attempt to find out answers. But after the drive home from Cincinnati to Louisville, we changed our minds, especially after RCW spoke with a nurse about it. A D&C is surgery. Surgery that would have to be done in Cincinnati. Surgery that we don't know how much insurance would cover, if any. Surgery we don't have anyone to watch our boys so we'd be dragging them along for a day at the hospital. And surgery with the sole purpose to try and find answers for our fertility treatments. But those answers are not guaranteed. There is no way to know if anything would come from the baby's tissue in the testing. It may tell us if it was a boy or a girl. It may tell us if he/she had something genetically wrong which caused it's little heart to stop beating. But to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I want those answers or not. This babe was made the old fashioned way and well, RCW and I know we don't make babies on our own very well. We do much better utilizing medical intervention! My heart knows this baby didn't make it because it wasn't healthy and I don't think I need to know if it was a boy or a girl. Especially when that involves surgery in a different city and dragging the boys with me and asking RCW to take a day off work. The D&C results wouldn't change any of our fertility treatment plans going forward - this pregnancy was natural so anything gleamed from the D&C would just be about the babe in general, not telling us if perhaps we should stop doing IUIs and go to IVF (which we won't). So, we decided to not have a D&C. I'm bleeding today. I think I'll miscarry naturally today or tomorrow anyway. I had started spotting on Tuesday and once I saw that I felt like I knew it was the end. If I don't miscarry by Saturday night after our 5pm church service, I'll take some medicine late Saturday night before bed that will induce the miscarriage within 8-12 hours. Next week, I'll go back to the RE for a final scan and start blood betas to watch my levels drop back down to zero. Then we'll wait 8-10 weeks for my body and our hearts to heal.
Now, past the medical stuff and onto the emotional.
I'm at peace about this baby. Despite feeling good about it and thinking we'd be bringing a baby home in late October just in time for the holiday season and trying to pick out a boy name with RCW, I'm at peace. I truly believe the baby wasn't healthy and it just wasn't meant to be.
The part I'm struggling with is the why and what's next. Why back to back miscarriages? Why are we losing baby after baby? Why see the heartbeat only to lose it 2 weeks later? These are questions I'll never know the answers to and questions that could drive me crazy. Despite having these questions, it hasn't been lost on me that we may have never even known about this little life though.
I'll be perfectly honest and say that with the November miscarriage I wondered if God was trying to tell us to be done with our family. To know how blessed we are with the boys and know our family is complete. But both RCW and I want more children. Ideally, we'd like 4. That has never wavered for us. Picking out a time to try, looking at finances - those are considerations we take into planning our family, but if money wasn't an issue, we'd have 4 babies, no questions asked. When this pregnancy happened, I began to wonder the same question again - is God trying to tell us to be done?
RCW never felt that way. He doesn't believe God would tell us our family was complete by continuing to hurt us and have us lose babies.
With this loss, I don't find myself asking that question. I know we want more and we have $700 worth of fertility drugs in our fridge that we will be using later in 2014 to try an IUI cycle again to have more.
With this loss, I find myself pulled and comforted by the fact that God helped us to know this life existed. If RCW hadn't casually mentioned in early January that maybe we should try for a baby sooner than later, we more than likely would have never known. I took a pregnancy test on January 30 - it was negative. I was bleeding enough in early February to believe it was my cycle. Had we not decided to try for Baby W3, I wouldn't have gone to our RE. I would have had a light cycle for a few days and gone about life as usual. My symptoms weren't strong enough to make me think anything out of the ordinary - RCW traveled for 2 weeks for work and I was a single mom - exhaustion was my new normal those weeks! Our schedule was off, my sleep habits were off, our eating habits were off - the slight nausea and carb craving would have seemed normal too given our situation. I'm bleeding now again and I would've thought it was my wonky cycle coming back 4-5 weeks after it's last random appearance. If we had not decided to try now, I'm fairly confident we would've missed this. Missed knowing we created a life with a teeny tiny heartbeat naturally. Missing the excitement, the emotions, the thrill of preparing to welcome a baby into the world again. Missed those feelings of bliss at the thought of having a squishy newborn and thrill of wondering boy or girl. We would've missed it all. But we didn't. While the roller coaster isn't all big exciting downhill thrills, those thrills make the long slow uphill trudge worth it. I'm learning to find comfort in the fact that this small part of our story wasn't meant to be Baby W3 coming home in October, but a piece to give us hope and inspire us to continue trying to build the family we want. And well, if that doesn't happen down here on Earth, we will have our large family when we reach heaven one day!
We will more than likely try in May or June with an IUI injectable cycle. It isn't lost on me that that was our original gameplan last fall anyway to try to have a baby in February or March 2015 around C's3rd birthday and E's 2nd. And here we are, plopped right into that timing.
I still have moments of doubt, moments of confusion and feeling lost. Moments where I'm not sure what to pray for or why this happened the way it did or what we should be doing next, but overall the timing of everything, the pure way the roller coaster played out this time, none of that is lost on me and I'm choosing to have that be my takeaway from this instead of the fleeting moments of doubt.
Thank you for all of your prayers - your comments, Fb messages, emails. Thank you! I know you are a community who understands all too well. I appreciate your support more than words can express. I'm going to end this with a Bible verse I'm obviously meant to see and soak in. A friend emailed it to me and another posted it on Fb all within 20 minutes of each other - Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
These devotionals have been so perfect and helped me over the past few weeks. That little face making a cameo has too (along with his brother and their daddy!) ❤️ I'm going off the grid for a couple days as we process and heal. We found out our October babe didn't make it this morning. He/she tried and grew over the past 2 weeks, but there was no longer a heartbeat. Thanks for all of yall's prayers and support! We know God has a plan for us and are waiting, trusting and hoping in Him.
*****
Just wanted to share with everyone who only knows me through the blogosphere. A mere few hours later and RCW and I doing well. We originally intended to have a D&C on Tuesday to attempt to find out answers. But after the drive home from Cincinnati to Louisville, we changed our minds, especially after RCW spoke with a nurse about it. A D&C is surgery. Surgery that would have to be done in Cincinnati. Surgery that we don't know how much insurance would cover, if any. Surgery we don't have anyone to watch our boys so we'd be dragging them along for a day at the hospital. And surgery with the sole purpose to try and find answers for our fertility treatments. But those answers are not guaranteed. There is no way to know if anything would come from the baby's tissue in the testing. It may tell us if it was a boy or a girl. It may tell us if he/she had something genetically wrong which caused it's little heart to stop beating. But to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I want those answers or not. This babe was made the old fashioned way and well, RCW and I know we don't make babies on our own very well. We do much better utilizing medical intervention! My heart knows this baby didn't make it because it wasn't healthy and I don't think I need to know if it was a boy or a girl. Especially when that involves surgery in a different city and dragging the boys with me and asking RCW to take a day off work. The D&C results wouldn't change any of our fertility treatment plans going forward - this pregnancy was natural so anything gleamed from the D&C would just be about the babe in general, not telling us if perhaps we should stop doing IUIs and go to IVF (which we won't). So, we decided to not have a D&C. I'm bleeding today. I think I'll miscarry naturally today or tomorrow anyway. I had started spotting on Tuesday and once I saw that I felt like I knew it was the end. If I don't miscarry by Saturday night after our 5pm church service, I'll take some medicine late Saturday night before bed that will induce the miscarriage within 8-12 hours. Next week, I'll go back to the RE for a final scan and start blood betas to watch my levels drop back down to zero. Then we'll wait 8-10 weeks for my body and our hearts to heal.
Now, past the medical stuff and onto the emotional.
I'm at peace about this baby. Despite feeling good about it and thinking we'd be bringing a baby home in late October just in time for the holiday season and trying to pick out a boy name with RCW, I'm at peace. I truly believe the baby wasn't healthy and it just wasn't meant to be.
The part I'm struggling with is the why and what's next. Why back to back miscarriages? Why are we losing baby after baby? Why see the heartbeat only to lose it 2 weeks later? These are questions I'll never know the answers to and questions that could drive me crazy. Despite having these questions, it hasn't been lost on me that we may have never even known about this little life though.
I'll be perfectly honest and say that with the November miscarriage I wondered if God was trying to tell us to be done with our family. To know how blessed we are with the boys and know our family is complete. But both RCW and I want more children. Ideally, we'd like 4. That has never wavered for us. Picking out a time to try, looking at finances - those are considerations we take into planning our family, but if money wasn't an issue, we'd have 4 babies, no questions asked. When this pregnancy happened, I began to wonder the same question again - is God trying to tell us to be done?
RCW never felt that way. He doesn't believe God would tell us our family was complete by continuing to hurt us and have us lose babies.
With this loss, I don't find myself asking that question. I know we want more and we have $700 worth of fertility drugs in our fridge that we will be using later in 2014 to try an IUI cycle again to have more.
With this loss, I find myself pulled and comforted by the fact that God helped us to know this life existed. If RCW hadn't casually mentioned in early January that maybe we should try for a baby sooner than later, we more than likely would have never known. I took a pregnancy test on January 30 - it was negative. I was bleeding enough in early February to believe it was my cycle. Had we not decided to try for Baby W3, I wouldn't have gone to our RE. I would have had a light cycle for a few days and gone about life as usual. My symptoms weren't strong enough to make me think anything out of the ordinary - RCW traveled for 2 weeks for work and I was a single mom - exhaustion was my new normal those weeks! Our schedule was off, my sleep habits were off, our eating habits were off - the slight nausea and carb craving would have seemed normal too given our situation. I'm bleeding now again and I would've thought it was my wonky cycle coming back 4-5 weeks after it's last random appearance. If we had not decided to try now, I'm fairly confident we would've missed this. Missed knowing we created a life with a teeny tiny heartbeat naturally. Missing the excitement, the emotions, the thrill of preparing to welcome a baby into the world again. Missed those feelings of bliss at the thought of having a squishy newborn and thrill of wondering boy or girl. We would've missed it all. But we didn't. While the roller coaster isn't all big exciting downhill thrills, those thrills make the long slow uphill trudge worth it. I'm learning to find comfort in the fact that this small part of our story wasn't meant to be Baby W3 coming home in October, but a piece to give us hope and inspire us to continue trying to build the family we want. And well, if that doesn't happen down here on Earth, we will have our large family when we reach heaven one day!
We will more than likely try in May or June with an IUI injectable cycle. It isn't lost on me that that was our original gameplan last fall anyway to try to have a baby in February or March 2015 around C's3rd birthday and E's 2nd. And here we are, plopped right into that timing.
I still have moments of doubt, moments of confusion and feeling lost. Moments where I'm not sure what to pray for or why this happened the way it did or what we should be doing next, but overall the timing of everything, the pure way the roller coaster played out this time, none of that is lost on me and I'm choosing to have that be my takeaway from this instead of the fleeting moments of doubt.
Thank you for all of your prayers - your comments, Fb messages, emails. Thank you! I know you are a community who understands all too well. I appreciate your support more than words can express. I'm going to end this with a Bible verse I'm obviously meant to see and soak in. A friend emailed it to me and another posted it on Fb all within 20 minutes of each other - Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
We Need Some Prayers, Please ❤️
I'm so behind on keeping up with our life's story. No Christmas recaps, I haven't posted C's 24 month update, I haven't caught yall up on his Bubble Guppies just us and my parents mini birthday party or E's 11 month update. Le sigh. And since February 15, I can't even blame 2 under 2 anymore! Someone needs to come up with a new parenting phrase because 2 at 2 and 11 months isn't magically easier!
But that's not what this is about. This is something different. This is a request for your prayers. This is a plea for your prayers, positive vibes and well wishes.
In early January, RCW surprised the heck out of me by suggesting we try for Baby #3 sooner than later and try to have a baby in 2014. I was completely caught off guard, I thought we'd be waiting to try until late spring, early summer. But I didn't need any convincing to get on board! Sadly, my cycle started January 3 and his request came a few days too late to try anything. We officially committed that we were trying for Baby W3 when my next cycle started or come cycle day 45 I'd call my RE to get the ball rolling forward.
On cycle day 30, I took a HPT. It was negative.
I waited. And waited and waited. Finally, on February 11 I started bleeding. Cycle Day 39. I called my RE on February 12. The nurse set up a baseline ultrasound for the next day, Thursday, February 13 and ordered my almost $700 worth of Gonal-F, Ovidrel and Femara. We were doing this!!
On Thursday morning, I left the boys with my parents who were in town for C's birthday, and headed to Cincinnati. When I saw my RE, I mentioned my cycle had been light and I wanted to discuss when he thought cycle day 1 truly should be for med purposes. He said we could discuss medicine timeline once we saw what was going on inside. I threw my legs in the stirrups and the nurse turned off the light. My RE started asking again when my last cycle was - January 3. Then he said it looked like I had a lot of lining still intact and he thought I should take a pregnancy test.
Are you as shocked as me right now? I was stunned.
The nurse turned on the light, I scooted back up and just sat there dumbfounded. He said we should wait to see what the results were first and go from there. He said the nurse would take blood and they'd call me with the results that afternoon. I started saying to him, I've had a lot of bleeding, enough to think it was my period, this can't be good. I mean if I'm bleeding like this I'm going to miscarry. My RE was his usual rainbows and unicorns self and told me some bleeding in early pregnancy is normal and lets just see what the results say.
I left, called RCW and cried a good portion of the way home. Don't get me wrong, this was a blessing. But but but, this wasn't anywhere in our plans. While I was in Cincinnati, my parents signed for almost $700 worth of fertility drugs. I was bleeding A LOT. If we had another miscarriage, we would have to go through the process and then wait 8-10 weeks to try again. This was not the plan. I was also having deja vu to February 2011 when we got pregnant on our own and it ended up as a blighted ovum. And deja vu to September through November of last year with the IUI and baby that never got a heartbeat. I didn't know how I would handle a 4th loss, especially back to back. I was a mess. RCW was my ever calming force and stayed optimistic and reassuring.
I texted some friends the news. I needed support this round from the get go. No full blown secrets here. I told one I wasn't going to pee on a stick. I would wait. I just had to wait until the afternoon. But the moment I walked in the door at home, I hugged Carter and he followed me to the bathroom where I promptly peed on a stick.
It said Pregnant. Sorry, its blurry. Yay shaky camera phone hand.
WHAT the what?!
I texted RCW this picture. He couldn't read it! Ha! So he called me and that was the super cute and creative way I told him. Yay surprises! I also didn't get a video this time like with the boys. Sorry Baby W3.
Later that afternoon my RE's nurse called. I was pregnant. My beta was 191. My progesterone was low and they started me on supplements twice a day. She told me to go to my OB in town on Wednesday for a second beta.
The following Wednesday, February 19 I went to my OB with the boys in tow and had another beta. That afternoon, the RE's nurse called to tell me the beta was 572. She said it wasn't as high as they would like and I was to come in the following Thursday, February 27 for a scan so my doctor 'could see what was going on in there'.
I quickly got online to find a beta doubling calculator. Normal doubling time is 36-72 hours. My doubling time was 91 hours. Super, super slow.
By this point, I had some symptoms. Nausea in the morning and from mid afternoon to early evening. Craving nothing but carbs. Its like a hangover and I felt like eating greasy fast food would help it go away. I have turned into a furnace and am super hot. I even turned on the fan in our room at night again. Poor RCW, its in the 20's over night and we have a fan blowing because I'm so hot. I'm peeing a lot. And many days I'm simply exhausted and have taken a good 2-3 hour nap during the boys' naptime on more than one occasion in the last few weeks. I was aware though that I had all these symptoms before whether I brought home a baby 9 months later or not. These were from having an increased HcG level, not because there was a healthy thriving baby in my belly.
But, I also had this feeling like all was ok. The I know too much about making a baby part of me knew the reality that all the bleeding and slow rising beta weren't great. But another part of me, in my heart, felt at peace. I didn't admit this to anyone at this point, not even RCW. But I realized it because people kept asking. Some close friends knew from the get go with the IUI and baby in the fall, I felt it was all wrong from the beginning. I had this weird sense that it just wasn't going to happen. I didn't have that this time. I felt at ease. I was praying fervently and I knew we had a good number of close friends praying for us as well. It all felt right. And I'll be honest, there was and still is a part of me and RCW too that has joked that of course we'll be one of those stories especially since we have $700 worth of nonrefundable fertility drugs in our fridge! I mean, right?!
But so anyway, there were a lot of symptoms, a lot of praying and a lot of just getting on with life. RCW was out of town for work all this week, the boys both woke up with the stomach bug on Tuesday morning and my part time gig has a new client. There wasn't a whole time of time for dwellling.
Thursday came. We hung out at home, had an early lunch and headed to Northern Kentucky, to my RE's satellite office around 1pm. We arrived and made our way inside. I got the boys situated in their double stroller with sippy cups, Veggie sticks and facing away from the doctor watching Bubble Guppies on the iPad. Thank goodness for technology at times like this!
My RE came in and reviewed some of the past couple months. He asked my last cycle date, January 3, and used the little rotating circle thing. I think he was looking to see how far along I should be. I think he's wrong, but more on that in a moment. Then he started the ultrasound.
As soon as the screen lit up, I thought I saw a baby. I've done this enough and seen the good and the bad. I was fairly certain I saw a babe and something flickering on the screen. He confirmed it. There was a baby! Gestational sac, yolk sac, fetal pole and that flickering, yup a heart beat! All I could say was "That is crazy!!" I sat up and he began to tell me the not so great news. There isn't a lot of fluid around the baby and the heart beat was 110, which is slow, per my RE. He said the baby only measured around 6.5 weeks and was small. He told me to continue on my prenatal, baby aspirin, Metformin, progesterone cocktail regimen and come back in 2 weeks for another scan. He said 1 of 3 things will happen. 1. Baby is just small and will continue to grow and we'll see that on our March 12 scan. 2. Baby isn't healthy and will not continue to grow and sadly die and we'll see that on our March 12 scan. 3. I could miscarry naturally at home between now and March 12. I tried asking a question or two about likelihood and chances, but he really couldn't offer much. He knew what I knew. At this moment in time, I am pregnant with a baby with a heartbeat. We just have to wait and see what happens next.
He didn't give me a due date. He didn't give me an ultrasound picture.
We are cautiously optimistic. But there is a big cautionary part of this.
I called RCW, I texted friends. We celebrated the good news. I gave thanks to God. The night before the scan I had prayed for a wow moment and He gave me one!
RCW and I decided to tell our families. We decided we wanted a support system, we wanted more prayers, we wanted to share positive happy news with them. So again, nothing cute and creative. I called mine, he called his and we sent a group text to our siblings. Everyone is thrilled and praying for this little one and us too.
And that's why I'm sharing this here. I know this community who still reads my blog gets it. Many of you have been there before and you understand better than anyone. Your prayers, your positive healing thoughts and well wishes are so much appreciated. I know no matter what happens this little one with it's beating heart is loved and wanted and being cared for and prayed about to God. I can only hope this little one is part of His plan for RCW and I.
*****
To wrap up, I want to give my personal opinion on what happened with my RE on Thursday. While he was positive, I walked out feeling like he thinks this baby won't make it based on my history. But thinking about things and his asking over and over my last cycle date and using his rotating OB's office circle thing this is what I truly believe at this point. My RE thinks I should be 8-9 weeks pregnant based on my last cycle, January 3. That means we would've conceived around mid January and by the end of January I would've seen a positive test. But that didn't happen. I took a home pregnancy test when my cycle was late on January 30 and it was negative. I was feeling great and fine and not having any symptoms or anything. I have PCOS. My cycle is totally irregular. When I went to my RE for the baseline on February 13 per his calculations I should've already been 5-6 weeks pregnant. But what he saw that day on the ultrasound was simply the lining of my uterus being thicker than it should be for someone on their cycle. It was the thick lining that prompted him to ask for a pregnancy test. But if we'd done a scan at 5-6 weeks on February 13, he would've seen at the very least a gestational sac, if not yolk sac, fetal pole and possibly a heartbeat. I think I ovulated late. I think we didn't conceive until late January. I think when I went to him on February 13 I was only 3-4 weeks pregnant, meaning on February 27 I was 5-6 weeks pregnant, not 8-9 weeks like he thinks I should be.
Per American Pregnancy Association's website:
3-4 Weeks: The earliest change that can be seen through a vaginal ultrasound at this time will be the “decidual reaction” which is the thickening of the endometrium. The endometrium lining thickens as the blastocyst burrows into it. This cannot always be detected by ultrasound—sometimes it may take a special eye or very good equipment to see this “reaction” in the endometrium lining.
6-7 Weeks: Generally from 6 ½ -7 weeks is the time when a heartbeat can be detected and viability can be assessed. A normal heartbeat at 6-7 weeks would be 90-110 beats per minute. The presence of an embryonic heartbeat is an assuring sign of the health of the pregnancy. Once a heartbeat is detected, the chance of the pregnancy continuing ranges from 70-90% dependent on what type of ultrasound is used.
Per this, a heartbeat of 110 would be good, but my RE cautioned it was slower than it should be. Again, I truly thinks he thinks I should be farther along than I am. While the bleeding, low fluid and slow rising beta aren't great signs, I am still feeling positive about this baby and pregnancy. Seeing a heart beat is a great sign. I know things can still go wrong, but we're staying positive about this. And in an effort to increase my fluid, I'm trying to drink a gallon of water a day between now and March 12! We want this baby so badly and appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts to help us as we go through this next 'wait to see' phase. ❤️
But that's not what this is about. This is something different. This is a request for your prayers. This is a plea for your prayers, positive vibes and well wishes.
In early January, RCW surprised the heck out of me by suggesting we try for Baby #3 sooner than later and try to have a baby in 2014. I was completely caught off guard, I thought we'd be waiting to try until late spring, early summer. But I didn't need any convincing to get on board! Sadly, my cycle started January 3 and his request came a few days too late to try anything. We officially committed that we were trying for Baby W3 when my next cycle started or come cycle day 45 I'd call my RE to get the ball rolling forward.
On cycle day 30, I took a HPT. It was negative.
I waited. And waited and waited. Finally, on February 11 I started bleeding. Cycle Day 39. I called my RE on February 12. The nurse set up a baseline ultrasound for the next day, Thursday, February 13 and ordered my almost $700 worth of Gonal-F, Ovidrel and Femara. We were doing this!!
On Thursday morning, I left the boys with my parents who were in town for C's birthday, and headed to Cincinnati. When I saw my RE, I mentioned my cycle had been light and I wanted to discuss when he thought cycle day 1 truly should be for med purposes. He said we could discuss medicine timeline once we saw what was going on inside. I threw my legs in the stirrups and the nurse turned off the light. My RE started asking again when my last cycle was - January 3. Then he said it looked like I had a lot of lining still intact and he thought I should take a pregnancy test.
Are you as shocked as me right now? I was stunned.
The nurse turned on the light, I scooted back up and just sat there dumbfounded. He said we should wait to see what the results were first and go from there. He said the nurse would take blood and they'd call me with the results that afternoon. I started saying to him, I've had a lot of bleeding, enough to think it was my period, this can't be good. I mean if I'm bleeding like this I'm going to miscarry. My RE was his usual rainbows and unicorns self and told me some bleeding in early pregnancy is normal and lets just see what the results say.
I left, called RCW and cried a good portion of the way home. Don't get me wrong, this was a blessing. But but but, this wasn't anywhere in our plans. While I was in Cincinnati, my parents signed for almost $700 worth of fertility drugs. I was bleeding A LOT. If we had another miscarriage, we would have to go through the process and then wait 8-10 weeks to try again. This was not the plan. I was also having deja vu to February 2011 when we got pregnant on our own and it ended up as a blighted ovum. And deja vu to September through November of last year with the IUI and baby that never got a heartbeat. I didn't know how I would handle a 4th loss, especially back to back. I was a mess. RCW was my ever calming force and stayed optimistic and reassuring.
I texted some friends the news. I needed support this round from the get go. No full blown secrets here. I told one I wasn't going to pee on a stick. I would wait. I just had to wait until the afternoon. But the moment I walked in the door at home, I hugged Carter and he followed me to the bathroom where I promptly peed on a stick.
It said Pregnant. Sorry, its blurry. Yay shaky camera phone hand.
WHAT the what?!
I texted RCW this picture. He couldn't read it! Ha! So he called me and that was the super cute and creative way I told him. Yay surprises! I also didn't get a video this time like with the boys. Sorry Baby W3.
Later that afternoon my RE's nurse called. I was pregnant. My beta was 191. My progesterone was low and they started me on supplements twice a day. She told me to go to my OB in town on Wednesday for a second beta.
The following Wednesday, February 19 I went to my OB with the boys in tow and had another beta. That afternoon, the RE's nurse called to tell me the beta was 572. She said it wasn't as high as they would like and I was to come in the following Thursday, February 27 for a scan so my doctor 'could see what was going on in there'.
I quickly got online to find a beta doubling calculator. Normal doubling time is 36-72 hours. My doubling time was 91 hours. Super, super slow.
By this point, I had some symptoms. Nausea in the morning and from mid afternoon to early evening. Craving nothing but carbs. Its like a hangover and I felt like eating greasy fast food would help it go away. I have turned into a furnace and am super hot. I even turned on the fan in our room at night again. Poor RCW, its in the 20's over night and we have a fan blowing because I'm so hot. I'm peeing a lot. And many days I'm simply exhausted and have taken a good 2-3 hour nap during the boys' naptime on more than one occasion in the last few weeks. I was aware though that I had all these symptoms before whether I brought home a baby 9 months later or not. These were from having an increased HcG level, not because there was a healthy thriving baby in my belly.
But, I also had this feeling like all was ok. The I know too much about making a baby part of me knew the reality that all the bleeding and slow rising beta weren't great. But another part of me, in my heart, felt at peace. I didn't admit this to anyone at this point, not even RCW. But I realized it because people kept asking. Some close friends knew from the get go with the IUI and baby in the fall, I felt it was all wrong from the beginning. I had this weird sense that it just wasn't going to happen. I didn't have that this time. I felt at ease. I was praying fervently and I knew we had a good number of close friends praying for us as well. It all felt right. And I'll be honest, there was and still is a part of me and RCW too that has joked that of course we'll be one of those stories especially since we have $700 worth of nonrefundable fertility drugs in our fridge! I mean, right?!
But so anyway, there were a lot of symptoms, a lot of praying and a lot of just getting on with life. RCW was out of town for work all this week, the boys both woke up with the stomach bug on Tuesday morning and my part time gig has a new client. There wasn't a whole time of time for dwellling.
Thursday came. We hung out at home, had an early lunch and headed to Northern Kentucky, to my RE's satellite office around 1pm. We arrived and made our way inside. I got the boys situated in their double stroller with sippy cups, Veggie sticks and facing away from the doctor watching Bubble Guppies on the iPad. Thank goodness for technology at times like this!
My RE came in and reviewed some of the past couple months. He asked my last cycle date, January 3, and used the little rotating circle thing. I think he was looking to see how far along I should be. I think he's wrong, but more on that in a moment. Then he started the ultrasound.
As soon as the screen lit up, I thought I saw a baby. I've done this enough and seen the good and the bad. I was fairly certain I saw a babe and something flickering on the screen. He confirmed it. There was a baby! Gestational sac, yolk sac, fetal pole and that flickering, yup a heart beat! All I could say was "That is crazy!!" I sat up and he began to tell me the not so great news. There isn't a lot of fluid around the baby and the heart beat was 110, which is slow, per my RE. He said the baby only measured around 6.5 weeks and was small. He told me to continue on my prenatal, baby aspirin, Metformin, progesterone cocktail regimen and come back in 2 weeks for another scan. He said 1 of 3 things will happen. 1. Baby is just small and will continue to grow and we'll see that on our March 12 scan. 2. Baby isn't healthy and will not continue to grow and sadly die and we'll see that on our March 12 scan. 3. I could miscarry naturally at home between now and March 12. I tried asking a question or two about likelihood and chances, but he really couldn't offer much. He knew what I knew. At this moment in time, I am pregnant with a baby with a heartbeat. We just have to wait and see what happens next.
He didn't give me a due date. He didn't give me an ultrasound picture.
We are cautiously optimistic. But there is a big cautionary part of this.
I called RCW, I texted friends. We celebrated the good news. I gave thanks to God. The night before the scan I had prayed for a wow moment and He gave me one!
RCW and I decided to tell our families. We decided we wanted a support system, we wanted more prayers, we wanted to share positive happy news with them. So again, nothing cute and creative. I called mine, he called his and we sent a group text to our siblings. Everyone is thrilled and praying for this little one and us too.
And that's why I'm sharing this here. I know this community who still reads my blog gets it. Many of you have been there before and you understand better than anyone. Your prayers, your positive healing thoughts and well wishes are so much appreciated. I know no matter what happens this little one with it's beating heart is loved and wanted and being cared for and prayed about to God. I can only hope this little one is part of His plan for RCW and I.
*****
To wrap up, I want to give my personal opinion on what happened with my RE on Thursday. While he was positive, I walked out feeling like he thinks this baby won't make it based on my history. But thinking about things and his asking over and over my last cycle date and using his rotating OB's office circle thing this is what I truly believe at this point. My RE thinks I should be 8-9 weeks pregnant based on my last cycle, January 3. That means we would've conceived around mid January and by the end of January I would've seen a positive test. But that didn't happen. I took a home pregnancy test when my cycle was late on January 30 and it was negative. I was feeling great and fine and not having any symptoms or anything. I have PCOS. My cycle is totally irregular. When I went to my RE for the baseline on February 13 per his calculations I should've already been 5-6 weeks pregnant. But what he saw that day on the ultrasound was simply the lining of my uterus being thicker than it should be for someone on their cycle. It was the thick lining that prompted him to ask for a pregnancy test. But if we'd done a scan at 5-6 weeks on February 13, he would've seen at the very least a gestational sac, if not yolk sac, fetal pole and possibly a heartbeat. I think I ovulated late. I think we didn't conceive until late January. I think when I went to him on February 13 I was only 3-4 weeks pregnant, meaning on February 27 I was 5-6 weeks pregnant, not 8-9 weeks like he thinks I should be.
Per American Pregnancy Association's website:
3-4 Weeks: The earliest change that can be seen through a vaginal ultrasound at this time will be the “decidual reaction” which is the thickening of the endometrium. The endometrium lining thickens as the blastocyst burrows into it. This cannot always be detected by ultrasound—sometimes it may take a special eye or very good equipment to see this “reaction” in the endometrium lining.
6-7 Weeks: Generally from 6 ½ -7 weeks is the time when a heartbeat can be detected and viability can be assessed. A normal heartbeat at 6-7 weeks would be 90-110 beats per minute. The presence of an embryonic heartbeat is an assuring sign of the health of the pregnancy. Once a heartbeat is detected, the chance of the pregnancy continuing ranges from 70-90% dependent on what type of ultrasound is used.
Per this, a heartbeat of 110 would be good, but my RE cautioned it was slower than it should be. Again, I truly thinks he thinks I should be farther along than I am. While the bleeding, low fluid and slow rising beta aren't great signs, I am still feeling positive about this baby and pregnancy. Seeing a heart beat is a great sign. I know things can still go wrong, but we're staying positive about this. And in an effort to increase my fluid, I'm trying to drink a gallon of water a day between now and March 12! We want this baby so badly and appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts to help us as we go through this next 'wait to see' phase. ❤️
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Little Mister - 10 Month Update
Weight/Height: At home methods this year, E weighed in at 24.4 pounds or 85th percentile and measured up at 28.5 inches, the 32nd percentile.
Eating: There isn't much change from month 9 to month 10. We're still doing on average 4 bottles a day at 6 ounces each bottle. He's also calling for his bottle - ba ba ba - and reaching for it and shoving it in his mouth and loving it! He gets a wake up bottle, whenever that wake up may be, definitely a prenap 1pm bottle and bedtime 7pm bottle. The other two still vary, maybe one mid-morning or maybe one pre-dinner or both. Its a day by day thing with Mr. E. E is still loving food, but is eating mainly the same thing as last month. Breakfast is Cheerios and a banana; Lunch is carrots, butter beans, strawberries, turkey slices and cheese sticks; Dinner whatever we're eating. He seems to love some Italian dishes like ravioli, baked spaghetti and lasagna best! I'm trying to pay more attention and give him more food at meals as we get closer to trying to drop bottles and wean him off formula. I know RCW will be super excited to say adios to washing bottles! Thanks babe for taking on that morning chore :)
Sleeping:
Sleeping this month has been fairly consistent. We've had some rough nights and early mornings - I blame teething and being sick, the boys shared some stomach bug germs back and forth during the middle of January for a good week and a half. E likes to wake up super early, like 4am. But momma likes to check on him, see that he's playing or half asleep crying and turn off the monitor! If he wakes up around 4am and goes back to sleep, he'll sleep until 7am when C usually wakes him up. That has been the routine the past few days. If he doesn't have an early wake up, he'll wake up on his own for the day around 5:30am -6am. He is following the same schedule of the past few months of catnapping if we're out and about and a long afternoon nap at home or taking a short morning nap and short afternoon nap if we're at home all day. These past few days as he's been waking up at 7am, he gets super cranky around 10:30am -11am but often refuses sleep and crashes for a long afternoon nap around 12:30pm after lunch. Then bedtime is always consistent around 7-7:30pm. He has been staying up later when we have Wednesday night church without issue, but if he's at home and not being fully entertained he's ready for bed at his usual time. Putting him to sleep - nap or bedtime - this month has left me wondering if he'll ever go to his bed willingly without being tightly wrapped and shushed and patted to sleep first. Sometimes I doubt he and I will ever get to a point of just reading books and putting him in his bed, but surely I'm wrong right? He won't always need snuggles and help going to sleep. And one day I'll miss that, I know.
Diapers: E got back into the cloth routine once we got home from our Virginia trip. And I made all our cloth almost as big as they'll go. The legs of our FuzziBunz are set on the 1 buttonhole, which means they can't get any longer. The waist still has 1 notch to go bigger on one side. I foresee him outgrowing them at the same rate as C did, once he hits the 30 pound mark. We're still making do with our Size 3 Pampers Cruisers, but won't be buying any more of that size. Grandma B. already has a box of Size 4 to bring out when she visits next. I have to say, as much as I loved cloth, I am happy we were more flexible this time around and I'm not fighting nightly leaking battles and trying to lanolize wool covers every other day!
Diapers: E got back into the cloth routine once we got home from our Virginia trip. And I made all our cloth almost as big as they'll go. The legs of our FuzziBunz are set on the 1 buttonhole, which means they can't get any longer. The waist still has 1 notch to go bigger on one side. I foresee him outgrowing them at the same rate as C did, once he hits the 30 pound mark. We're still making do with our Size 3 Pampers Cruisers, but won't be buying any more of that size. Grandma B. already has a box of Size 4 to bring out when she visits next. I have to say, as much as I loved cloth, I am happy we were more flexible this time around and I'm not fighting nightly leaking battles and trying to lanolize wool covers every other day!
Clothes: E is still rocking out in C's clothes from last winter in size 12 months or 12-18 months. He hasn't squeezed into any 9 month sizes this month and some of the 12 month rompers are getting snug in the diaper area. With the cold weather around here, he's usually happily wearing size 12 month Carter's pjs day and night. Especially since he refuses to keep socks on and needs his feet covered up on these cold days!
Social Butterfly:
During E's tenth month we were pretty much homebodies and mainly because of the polar vortex. Many days the temps were in the single digits with windchills of below zero. Many days there was a fair amount of snow on the ground. And some of those days, E was fighting a stomach bug. The only consistent outing was church on Sundays and Wednesday nights where he loves being in the nursery. He especially loves it when his momma volunteers in the nursery too! We've made some grocery, Sam's Club and Target runs on the days that seem warmest that week where he's elicited comments from passersby about his big blue eyes and happy demeanor. They didn't see him fighting the hat being put on his head as we made our way into the store though!
Playtime: Oh playtime, what doesn't E love?! He's been following his big brother around playing with the train table Santa brought them. He still loves anything with wheels, including all the new trains around our house and Fisher Price Little People. He loves anything with lights and buttons which means his favorite toy would be finding our cell phones or the TV remote control. He has been playing with the busy board too and looking at himself in any mirror he sees. As usual, he particularly enjoys playing with whatever C is playing with too. And he loves climbing on his PB Kids chair and continuing to climbing onto the sofa and trying to scare us by attempting to head dive off. No fear from this little mister!
Playtime: Oh playtime, what doesn't E love?! He's been following his big brother around playing with the train table Santa brought them. He still loves anything with wheels, including all the new trains around our house and Fisher Price Little People. He loves anything with lights and buttons which means his favorite toy would be finding our cell phones or the TV remote control. He has been playing with the busy board too and looking at himself in any mirror he sees. As usual, he particularly enjoys playing with whatever C is playing with too. And he loves climbing on his PB Kids chair and continuing to climbing onto the sofa and trying to scare us by attempting to head dive off. No fear from this little mister!
Personality: E your personality continues to overflow and make our hearts burst with joy and laughs from you, Brother Bear. This month you started this new face, I need to be sure to get videos before you stop, but you wrinkle up your nose and scrunch up your face and just laugh and smile. RCW calls it your stink face. We're obsessed with it and you're obsessed with us being obsessed with you. Its a love cycle! You are beginning to test your limits and when I tell you no, you smile and smirk at me. Then when I remove you from your offense, you scream. Just like your big brother!
Milestones: In E's tenth month, his biggest milestone would be walking!! You officially took your first steps and now its safe to say you are toddling. You crawl when you need to get somewhere fast, like when momma leaves the room and you need to hightail it down the hallway to find me. But when we're all together, you are pulling up, standing up and taking steps until you lose your balance and fall on your bum. You're on the move little mister! And you like to escape too - any open baby gate or open door is an open invitation to you to explore. This month you also cut your 7th tooth, your bottom second right tooth. Daddy found it one night after dinner. We are eagerly anticipating #8 to come through now too. This month you've also become more verbal - you've got mamama and bababa down for momma and bottle. We think you're trying to get some sounds to represent brother, but nothing concrete just yet. And we're trying to help you sound our dadada too! Another milestone this month was your learned to clap, you're trying to wave and you love playing peekaboo! You developed so much this month and are slowly transitioning from baby to toddler. But I think you'll always look like a baby until you grow some more hair!
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
#boymom
Since I'm actually on the blog. I'll post a video that we find hilarious! This was a week or so ago. I found E hitching a ride with his big brother!
These boys never cease to amaze me and usually provide a good dose of daily laughter with their antics! I can only imagine what the future will hold around here with these 2 brothers!
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Little Mister - 9 Month Update
*E, I'll go ahead and post a disclaimer. Your momma fell behind. Way behind. She's been working on this post for weeeeeeeks, although she post dated it for December 28. Our extended Christmas stay in Va meant she wasn't prepared for your weekly or monthly photo - hence the home made props. And yea. Better late than never, Brother Bear!
Weight/Height: So, we were in RVa for E's 9 month birthday. And I slacked and we didn't measure. Then I didn't write this post until way late. Then all of a sudden it was January 7 and we were at his official 9 month well checkup. So here are his stats for 9 months, 10 days late. He weighed in a clean diaper 24.0 pounds even, the 89th percentile. He was measured at 28.5 inches tall, the 50th percentile.
Eating: As I thought about writing this month's post I realized I honestly don't have a true clue to what E is doing. Our nonscheduled little man! The thought crossed my mind that maybe in these final months I needed to be keeping track of what he was doing than in the first six! I don't know what changed, but E is eating bottles again. Some days it feels like all I do is fix and feed bottles. For real. Other days, he seems to have had only 4 bottles. But whenever he gets a bottle, he is eating it again. No more forcing him at all. He guzzles them down within 10 minutes usually. This month. He's getting his morning wake up bottle, prenap 1pm bottle and night bedtime bottle regularly. Then it varies. Sometimes he wants another one around 7-8am or not. Sometimes he wants a second, or third one, around 11am. Sometimes not. Sometimes he has one after his afternoon nap before dinner. Sometimes not. Get my drift?! We are all over the place. I mentioned last month that E really wants to just eat food. And he is eating more and more and more! So I often have to remind myself that he's still a baby and needs the formula. All his bottles are still 6 ounces and he usually finishes them all again. The one thing we stopped this month was putting oatmeal in his bottles. Maybe that's why he's eating them and seeming hungry? Maybe the oatmeal was helping to fill him up? I don't know. But we stopped it. We still have spit up, but as he's been digesting more solids I don't think its been as bad as in the past. For solids, he loves to eat. He's eating a whole waffle with bananas pieces and some yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, its the same old meal. Sorry kids, momma eats the same thing daily so yall do to! Carrots, butter beans, strawberries, cheese stick and some turkey. I can't wait for him to have peanut butter and do PBJ sandwiches! Dinner is whatever we're eating. Lasagna, mexican, chicken and rice, meatloaf. Dinner is the one meal where he seems to play more with his food since its not always baby pickup friendly. He also got better this month with accepting a spoon from us. He'll eat yogurt, applesauce, mashed potatoes off the spoon now. He still prefers to feed himself, but realized he could get some tasty stuff when we helped! He's getting better with using his sippy cups and will hold his bottles now too. Finally! But my sweet little man still prefers for us to hold the bottle when we'll give in to him!
Clothes: There isn't anything new in the clothes department either. E is wearing mainly size 12 months, some size 12-18 months and a couple size 9 months shirts. All his pants are size 12 or 12-18 now though. His closet is still full and he has more clothes than the rest of us thanks to C's hand me downs from last winter. Hopefully we'll be able to keep him in these sizes until spring without buying too many new pieces. It has been fun over the holidays to see E wearing the same little outfit C wore just a year ago!
Personality: E. My little man. If you aren't the class clown, I will be shocked! You thrive from attention. You love to flirt. Just tilt your head to the side. You adore your brother. ADORE him. You want to be where he is, doing what he is doing. You don't like being alone and will cry or just crawl to find us when you realize you've been deserted. You have a big smile and bright eyes for anyone who smiles at you and so far haven't met a stranger, although you don't really like RCW too much when he's wearing a hat. And coincidentally you dislike wearing hats yourself. You are such a sweet little guy with smiles and laugh and love to give to all.
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Milestones: In E's ninth month, his biggest milestone would be continuing his mobility. He is so close to walking! He's crawling super fast, pounding his little hands and knees along the floor, being our little bulldog! E also experienced his first snow during his ninth month - he wasn't too fond of the cold! E had his first Christmas and enjoyed it in Richmond surrounded by his extended family. E's ninth month was sadly full of germs, but he had some quality down time at home with us getting better and practicing his cruising!
Weight/Height: So, we were in RVa for E's 9 month birthday. And I slacked and we didn't measure. Then I didn't write this post until way late. Then all of a sudden it was January 7 and we were at his official 9 month well checkup. So here are his stats for 9 months, 10 days late. He weighed in a clean diaper 24.0 pounds even, the 89th percentile. He was measured at 28.5 inches tall, the 50th percentile.
Eating: As I thought about writing this month's post I realized I honestly don't have a true clue to what E is doing. Our nonscheduled little man! The thought crossed my mind that maybe in these final months I needed to be keeping track of what he was doing than in the first six! I don't know what changed, but E is eating bottles again. Some days it feels like all I do is fix and feed bottles. For real. Other days, he seems to have had only 4 bottles. But whenever he gets a bottle, he is eating it again. No more forcing him at all. He guzzles them down within 10 minutes usually. This month. He's getting his morning wake up bottle, prenap 1pm bottle and night bedtime bottle regularly. Then it varies. Sometimes he wants another one around 7-8am or not. Sometimes he wants a second, or third one, around 11am. Sometimes not. Sometimes he has one after his afternoon nap before dinner. Sometimes not. Get my drift?! We are all over the place. I mentioned last month that E really wants to just eat food. And he is eating more and more and more! So I often have to remind myself that he's still a baby and needs the formula. All his bottles are still 6 ounces and he usually finishes them all again. The one thing we stopped this month was putting oatmeal in his bottles. Maybe that's why he's eating them and seeming hungry? Maybe the oatmeal was helping to fill him up? I don't know. But we stopped it. We still have spit up, but as he's been digesting more solids I don't think its been as bad as in the past. For solids, he loves to eat. He's eating a whole waffle with bananas pieces and some yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, its the same old meal. Sorry kids, momma eats the same thing daily so yall do to! Carrots, butter beans, strawberries, cheese stick and some turkey. I can't wait for him to have peanut butter and do PBJ sandwiches! Dinner is whatever we're eating. Lasagna, mexican, chicken and rice, meatloaf. Dinner is the one meal where he seems to play more with his food since its not always baby pickup friendly. He also got better this month with accepting a spoon from us. He'll eat yogurt, applesauce, mashed potatoes off the spoon now. He still prefers to feed himself, but realized he could get some tasty stuff when we helped! He's getting better with using his sippy cups and will hold his bottles now too. Finally! But my sweet little man still prefers for us to hold the bottle when we'll give in to him!
Sleeping:
We have been on track for sleep this past month again. Yay! Although I think I can say that because RCW 9.5 out of 10 mornings takes E's wakeup call which happens anywhere from 4:30am to 6am! He will happily play in his crib for a while before wanting out, but he is an early riser! He stayed fairly consistent with a morning nap and afternoon nap and is ready to pass out by 7:15pm. He did great with our travels for Christmas and slept almost the entire way from Kentucky to Virginia on our drive to Richmond since we left at 5pm. He still needs help going to sleep though, bundled in his blanket, shushed and patted to sleep, usually with a bottle in his mouth. But once he's sound asleep, he's good. I find myself reminding myself to slow down and enjoy these moments of feeding him a bottle and rocking him to sleep as I know they'll fade all too quickly in the coming months!
Diapers: E spent a lot of month 9 in disposables for a couple reasons - 1. E got Hand, Foot, Mouth with a bad case on his bum that required prescription cream and 2. we don't do cloth anymore when traveling. It just isn't worth it when Grandma B. buys us diapers to use at her house. E is still in a Pampers Cruisers Size 3, but as we neared the end of the month I realized they're getting a bit snug and perhaps we should be moving up a size once we finished out the stock we currently have!
Diapers: E spent a lot of month 9 in disposables for a couple reasons - 1. E got Hand, Foot, Mouth with a bad case on his bum that required prescription cream and 2. we don't do cloth anymore when traveling. It just isn't worth it when Grandma B. buys us diapers to use at her house. E is still in a Pampers Cruisers Size 3, but as we neared the end of the month I realized they're getting a bit snug and perhaps we should be moving up a size once we finished out the stock we currently have!
Clothes: There isn't anything new in the clothes department either. E is wearing mainly size 12 months, some size 12-18 months and a couple size 9 months shirts. All his pants are size 12 or 12-18 now though. His closet is still full and he has more clothes than the rest of us thanks to C's hand me downs from last winter. Hopefully we'll be able to keep him in these sizes until spring without buying too many new pieces. It has been fun over the holidays to see E wearing the same little outfit C wore just a year ago!
Social Butterfly:
During E's ninth month we were pretty quarantined until our Christmas trip to Virginia. After Thanksgiving, E was diagnosed with strep throat and then once that had cleared up we went back to the doctor with a case of Hand, Foot and Mouth. We stayed at home mostly so we could contain our germs, not be exposed to new ones and stay healthy enough to make the trip to Virginia for Christmas! The first couple weeks of the month I was even doing my weekly errands at night once RCW was home so I didn't take the boys out into the cold. We did continue our Sundays at church and my monthly MOPS meeting, both places E loves since he gets a lot of attention and being fawned over by the volunteers! Then we headed to Richmond to visit family and E made a lot of trips out to grandparents, great-grandparents, dinners out, aunt and uncles homes to play with cousins, Kangaroo Jac's (an inflatable bounce house kid attraction) and visiting friends to celebrate Christmas. He ate up all the attention he received!
Playtime: E is into everything! This month he discovered dog food and dog water is apparently a baby delicacy! He is on the move and can crawl oh so fast! He's so fun to watch and RCW and I call him 'the bulldog' because of how his elbows point out and how hard he slams his hands down when he's coming for ya! He mastered going up stairs at Grandma's house, but hasn't quite figured out how to come down yet. He is standing solo for super long periods of time and we can see the wheels turning as he tries to figure out how exactly to walk. He is cruising along tables, sofas, chairs, but not walking on his own. And RCW, C, the pups and I are his jungle gym when we're on the floor and within his reach. Toy wise, he loves whatever C has. It has started already! He wants cars, trucks, things that light up and make noise and he loves balls too. He's fond on playing with the toy drum and the Bubble Guppie guitar. We retired one exersaucer this month and will probably be putting away the other baby toys in the coming month, especially as we make room for Christmas gifts.
Playtime: E is into everything! This month he discovered dog food and dog water is apparently a baby delicacy! He is on the move and can crawl oh so fast! He's so fun to watch and RCW and I call him 'the bulldog' because of how his elbows point out and how hard he slams his hands down when he's coming for ya! He mastered going up stairs at Grandma's house, but hasn't quite figured out how to come down yet. He is standing solo for super long periods of time and we can see the wheels turning as he tries to figure out how exactly to walk. He is cruising along tables, sofas, chairs, but not walking on his own. And RCW, C, the pups and I are his jungle gym when we're on the floor and within his reach. Toy wise, he loves whatever C has. It has started already! He wants cars, trucks, things that light up and make noise and he loves balls too. He's fond on playing with the toy drum and the Bubble Guppie guitar. We retired one exersaucer this month and will probably be putting away the other baby toys in the coming month, especially as we make room for Christmas gifts.
Personality: E. My little man. If you aren't the class clown, I will be shocked! You thrive from attention. You love to flirt. Just tilt your head to the side. You adore your brother. ADORE him. You want to be where he is, doing what he is doing. You don't like being alone and will cry or just crawl to find us when you realize you've been deserted. You have a big smile and bright eyes for anyone who smiles at you and so far haven't met a stranger, although you don't really like RCW too much when he's wearing a hat. And coincidentally you dislike wearing hats yourself. You are such a sweet little guy with smiles and laugh and love to give to all.
Milestones: In E's ninth month, his biggest milestone would be continuing his mobility. He is so close to walking! He's crawling super fast, pounding his little hands and knees along the floor, being our little bulldog! E also experienced his first snow during his ninth month - he wasn't too fond of the cold! E had his first Christmas and enjoyed it in Richmond surrounded by his extended family. E's ninth month was sadly full of germs, but he had some quality down time at home with us getting better and practicing his cruising!
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