Let me preface this by saying...IUI#4 officially did not work. Real AF bleeding began this morning. I'm more than bummed.
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Originally blogged on December 28, 2010
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I've been peeing like a racehorse. My bladder has gotten smaller or something because I'm seriously needing to pee every couple of hours lately, but it could be because I'm staying well hydrated trying to get over my cold sans medicine (for potential baby's sake). Anyway, I got up off the sofa last night around 8ish and made my slow way to the bathroom. I peed. When I wiped I noticed a very light, wouldn't notice it at all if you weren't obsessed with making a baby, faint brown spot. My heart jumped! Implantation bleeding! But perhaps I was just seeing things.
This morning I got up around 4am and peed. I wiped and there was obviously blood on my tissue. I wiped again, more. Again, more. Um, dark brown and not a ton, but when you google 'implantation bleeding' and see it should be a couple of drops between 9-12 days after ovulation and you're seeing more than a drop or two at 5 days after ovulation, yea its not good.
All day, I've been anxious each of the 20 million times I've peed. I haven't spotted blood during each trip, which is good. But I have seen it a couple more times throughout the day.
And honestly, I think my period is coming. I cried in bed this afternoon, upset that I had gotten my hopes up and angry that this IUI didn't work for us. Frustrated that I was bleeding on CD21 and wondering what the heck was going on with my body this cycle. I napped and then I got up again to pee. I fully expected to see as the RE calls it, 'bright red, flow full' but instead I saw nothing.
Part of me just knows this didn't work and AF is coming. A small piece of me is hoping this is implantation bleeding - maybe its heavy because the pineapple core my uterus all supple and ready, maybe its heavy because 2 of my follies are burying into my uterine lining. Maybe I shouldn't be getting any hopes up at all because this journey has taught me, when you think something is about to happen you're completely surprised by what actually transpires.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Bah Hum Bug
Christmas was grand. My parents being in town was awesome. They totally spoiled us, like always. And in return, I think we succeeded in spoiling them. I'll do a bigger recap later.
Right now, I'm sick.
RCW was sick last week. Mom and dad arrived sick on Thursday. By their departure on Monday morning, everyone was well, except for me. My throat is on fire, my ears hurt and my head is pounding. Joy.
Also, the laptop is being repaired currently as it lost a couple screws and the screen was barely holding on. That means I have to actually leave my bed or sofa to come to the office to the desktop to blog. Yall should feel special this post is occurring right now!
As for the 2WW, yea. I'm not going to say much on here about that right now because I don't know how I'm going to handle a BFP, or the dreaded BFN next week. I'll just say that as always, some days I'm convinced it worked and others I mentally prepare for IVF in 2011. But the pineapple core eating ended last night and I must say, it wasn't so bad. The first night was the worst because it was so fresh, nights 2-5, while not as delicious as the 'meat', the core wasn't horrible.
Hope you all had the Merriest of Christmas Days and that many of you are enjoying either a vacation this week or at least a slow work week!
Right now, I'm sick.
RCW was sick last week. Mom and dad arrived sick on Thursday. By their departure on Monday morning, everyone was well, except for me. My throat is on fire, my ears hurt and my head is pounding. Joy.
Also, the laptop is being repaired currently as it lost a couple screws and the screen was barely holding on. That means I have to actually leave my bed or sofa to come to the office to the desktop to blog. Yall should feel special this post is occurring right now!
As for the 2WW, yea. I'm not going to say much on here about that right now because I don't know how I'm going to handle a BFP, or the dreaded BFN next week. I'll just say that as always, some days I'm convinced it worked and others I mentally prepare for IVF in 2011. But the pineapple core eating ended last night and I must say, it wasn't so bad. The first night was the worst because it was so fresh, nights 2-5, while not as delicious as the 'meat', the core wasn't horrible.
Hope you all had the Merriest of Christmas Days and that many of you are enjoying either a vacation this week or at least a slow work week!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Willing to Try ANYTHING!
So, I'm officially desperate to get pregnant. I'm willing to try any old wives's tale out there. We want a baby and we want one now, please and thank you.
First up, a blog friend, Missy, who is currently pregnant from IUI#2 with twin boys, emailed me to tell me about Mucinex. She tried this with IUI#2 and ended up pregnant, now neither of us know if it had any effect, but heck, it can't hurt, right?! I know there are some sites that talk about taking Mucinex or Robitussin because of the only active ingredient, guaifenesin. Because the point of these medicines is to thin your nasal mucus, but it thins ALL the mucus in your body, including cervical mucus. Thinning your cervical mucus can allow easier access to the egg for the sperm. Sounds fabulous, right? Here's a link with more info... http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/cm.html
I found out about this trick too late so I started taking Mucinex extra strength, still with the only active ingredient being guaifenesin, on Tuesday morning. I know only 3 days worth of taking it, but hopefully it'll help and it at least made me feel like I doing something.
PS: There are some sites that mention birth defects from taking guaifenesin. I found these after the fact, so please don't heed my advice without doing your own research and studying. I don't believe that taking this medicine prior to fertilization or implantation will cause harm, but simply like many medicines it should not be taken once seeing that BFP. From what I saw, I wasn't worried enough to not try this trick again in the future, but that's just me personally.
Up, next. Pineapple.
Yup, I know many of us have heard about pineapple being oh so good for implantation and this round I decided to try it out. RCW cut up the fresh pineapple for me. I was so excited because I love pineapple until I started my research and discovered that I'm not to eat the 'meat' (full bowl of yumminess) but I need to eat the pineapple core (the bowl with 4 pieces). Um, yuck. Here is a link with info: http://www.amandabears.com/pineapple-core-for-implantation.html
Following the instructions on this site, I ate my first fifth of the core last night after dinner.
It wasn't that bad, it didn't taste horrible, its just SO hard. I had to chew and chew and chew. But the core is where all the good stuff is and that's why its important to eat the core. The theory is this: pineapple core has bromelain, which is a proteolytic enzyme that breaks up proteins that inhibit embryo implantation. The catch is that you need to be very careful because too much pineapple meat and/or juice in large quantities can cause uterine contractions causing a spontaneous miscarriage. The site encourages that you eat 1 core split into 5 portions once a day starting on the day of your IUI and then eat no more after you finish the core.
So there ya have it, I'm eating only the core and RCW and my parents will get to enjoy the yumminess of fresh cut pineapple.
Hopefully between my 3 big follies, Mucinex and pineapple core along with my go to of Christmas and birthday, we'll make a baby this time! I'm hoping and praying with all my might that these old wives's tales will somehow result in a healthy, full term pregnancy. And if its still not meant to be, then again, at least I know I tried (almost) everything I could this round!
Did any of you try these or do anything else to assist at home with getting pregnant?
**Also, I must insist that you don't follow these instructions without consulting your RE or doing your own very in depth research. I'm simply sharing what we're trying this cycle. I'm not endorsing or trying to promote these methods. Please know there could be potential risks involved with either of the two above mentioned 'tricks'.**
First up, a blog friend, Missy, who is currently pregnant from IUI#2 with twin boys, emailed me to tell me about Mucinex. She tried this with IUI#2 and ended up pregnant, now neither of us know if it had any effect, but heck, it can't hurt, right?! I know there are some sites that talk about taking Mucinex or Robitussin because of the only active ingredient, guaifenesin. Because the point of these medicines is to thin your nasal mucus, but it thins ALL the mucus in your body, including cervical mucus. Thinning your cervical mucus can allow easier access to the egg for the sperm. Sounds fabulous, right? Here's a link with more info... http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/cm.html
I found out about this trick too late so I started taking Mucinex extra strength, still with the only active ingredient being guaifenesin, on Tuesday morning. I know only 3 days worth of taking it, but hopefully it'll help and it at least made me feel like I doing something.
PS: There are some sites that mention birth defects from taking guaifenesin. I found these after the fact, so please don't heed my advice without doing your own research and studying. I don't believe that taking this medicine prior to fertilization or implantation will cause harm, but simply like many medicines it should not be taken once seeing that BFP. From what I saw, I wasn't worried enough to not try this trick again in the future, but that's just me personally.
Up, next. Pineapple.
Yup, I know many of us have heard about pineapple being oh so good for implantation and this round I decided to try it out. RCW cut up the fresh pineapple for me. I was so excited because I love pineapple until I started my research and discovered that I'm not to eat the 'meat' (full bowl of yumminess) but I need to eat the pineapple core (the bowl with 4 pieces). Um, yuck. Here is a link with info: http://www.amandabears.com/pineapple-core-for-implantation.htmlFollowing the instructions on this site, I ate my first fifth of the core last night after dinner.
It wasn't that bad, it didn't taste horrible, its just SO hard. I had to chew and chew and chew. But the core is where all the good stuff is and that's why its important to eat the core. The theory is this: pineapple core has bromelain, which is a proteolytic enzyme that breaks up proteins that inhibit embryo implantation. The catch is that you need to be very careful because too much pineapple meat and/or juice in large quantities can cause uterine contractions causing a spontaneous miscarriage. The site encourages that you eat 1 core split into 5 portions once a day starting on the day of your IUI and then eat no more after you finish the core. So there ya have it, I'm eating only the core and RCW and my parents will get to enjoy the yumminess of fresh cut pineapple.
Hopefully between my 3 big follies, Mucinex and pineapple core along with my go to of Christmas and birthday, we'll make a baby this time! I'm hoping and praying with all my might that these old wives's tales will somehow result in a healthy, full term pregnancy. And if its still not meant to be, then again, at least I know I tried (almost) everything I could this round!
Did any of you try these or do anything else to assist at home with getting pregnant?
**Also, I must insist that you don't follow these instructions without consulting your RE or doing your own very in depth research. I'm simply sharing what we're trying this cycle. I'm not endorsing or trying to promote these methods. Please know there could be potential risks involved with either of the two above mentioned 'tricks'.**
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Story of our Fourth IUI
Here it is, the story of our FOURTH IUI. How did we get here so quickly and better question, why are we here instead of having a baby in our arms or at least in my belly? As I mentioned we scheduled IUI#4 for an afternoon appointment to accommodate RCW's work schedule. It ended up being better because I had major cleaning and prep to do at home before mom and dad's arrival for Christmas. RCW got home and we left for Cincinnati at noon to get there for RCW's appointment at 2pm. About 20 minutes into our drive, I went to sleep. I woke up and we were 5 miles away from our exit.
First up, RCW's part. The lab was empty. I read a magazine. While sitting and waiting for RCW to come back out, the nurse/reception answered the phone twice. I found her conversations interesting. Ya know, I know many of us have hubbies who don't enjoy the SA part of IF, this lady was answering phone calls for 2 different men (I assume) wanting to come have one done! She asked for the doctor's referral and if their wife was a patient of the RE. Then I hear her explaining that they're an infertility clinic and they only perform SA for infertility purposes, they aren't a sperm bank! Oh geez. Really!? And in my maybe 15 minute wait, 2 calls asking about this!? Goodness, why are guys wanting their sperm analyzed if not for fertility purposes?!
Anyway, RCW came out and we headed off to grab lunch at BW3's. I was starved and ohmygosh those wings were extra yummy! Then we did some Christmas shopping and it was time to head back for my 3:45pm appointment. We were even early.
Which made the next part so surprising - We checked in about 10 minutes early and I pulled out a magazine to read and wait. But they called me back! What?! I guess they all wanted to get out of the office on Christmas Eve Eve too. We went back and got situated.
Here's RCW and I before the doctor came in. I should note his washed numbers were ok. Not as high as they were back in the summer (what is that about!?) but still good. His original prewash numbers were 44 million with 50% motility and after the wash they were up (or down) to 32 million with 90% motility. The RE said they were fabulous. They seem low to me for RCW, but I know they're still great in the grand scheme!
The RE came in quickly and here is where I hope my non poker face didn't give anything away because we were both expecting our Dr. S. RCW even confirmed with the nurses our IUI was with Dr. S when he spoke with them Monday. The door opened and it was not Dr. S, but Dr. A again. What?! But he looked over the chart and RCW's numbers and said all was good and proceeded with IUI#4.
It didn't hurt as bad as IUI#3 did, but I did have cramps going on again. Maybe I was just too excited and new during #1 and # 2, I didn't notice them? I don't know. I've felt more tweaks and pangs during this cycle though so who knows. Dr. A was in and out and we were left listening to Frosty the Snowman on the overhead radio and waiting.
After our 10 minutes of laying and waiting, it was time to go. Here's our traditional leaving picture. Hopefully we're leaving as parents!
I think I've just gotten use to all of this. We're on #4. We may do a #5 or we may be moving on to IVF if this one doesn't work, but I'm hopeful, so full of hope that this one will work! Christmas magic and Birthday wishes and because if it does work, it'll be prior to January 1, 2011 that I'm officially pregnant and I would miss out on my full pay maternity leave, because that's how it would work, right?! *wink* (Yall know if we're pregnant, I really don't care about maternity leave pay...if we did, we would have waited).
Also, I had more follicles this time than ever before. I didn't have the time to post about RCW's call with the nurses on Monday. But it went well. We didn't have a 2nd ultrasound, obviously since there was no post about it. They told RCW that I had 3 follicles at the ultrasound Saturday and felt very confident about this cycle. Lucky IUI#2 that worked (but sadly ended) we only had 2 follies. So I'm hopeful! I still don't understand how they know the follies will keep growing, and not just stay the same size (12mm), but whatever. Here's hoping by yesterday they were at least 18mm - 20mm!
And now the 2 week wait begins...again.
First up, RCW's part. The lab was empty. I read a magazine. While sitting and waiting for RCW to come back out, the nurse/reception answered the phone twice. I found her conversations interesting. Ya know, I know many of us have hubbies who don't enjoy the SA part of IF, this lady was answering phone calls for 2 different men (I assume) wanting to come have one done! She asked for the doctor's referral and if their wife was a patient of the RE. Then I hear her explaining that they're an infertility clinic and they only perform SA for infertility purposes, they aren't a sperm bank! Oh geez. Really!? And in my maybe 15 minute wait, 2 calls asking about this!? Goodness, why are guys wanting their sperm analyzed if not for fertility purposes?!
Anyway, RCW came out and we headed off to grab lunch at BW3's. I was starved and ohmygosh those wings were extra yummy! Then we did some Christmas shopping and it was time to head back for my 3:45pm appointment. We were even early.
Which made the next part so surprising - We checked in about 10 minutes early and I pulled out a magazine to read and wait. But they called me back! What?! I guess they all wanted to get out of the office on Christmas Eve Eve too. We went back and got situated.
Traditional Pre IUI Picture complete with Christmas socks!
Here's RCW and I before the doctor came in. I should note his washed numbers were ok. Not as high as they were back in the summer (what is that about!?) but still good. His original prewash numbers were 44 million with 50% motility and after the wash they were up (or down) to 32 million with 90% motility. The RE said they were fabulous. They seem low to me for RCW, but I know they're still great in the grand scheme!
The RE came in quickly and here is where I hope my non poker face didn't give anything away because we were both expecting our Dr. S. RCW even confirmed with the nurses our IUI was with Dr. S when he spoke with them Monday. The door opened and it was not Dr. S, but Dr. A again. What?! But he looked over the chart and RCW's numbers and said all was good and proceeded with IUI#4. It didn't hurt as bad as IUI#3 did, but I did have cramps going on again. Maybe I was just too excited and new during #1 and # 2, I didn't notice them? I don't know. I've felt more tweaks and pangs during this cycle though so who knows. Dr. A was in and out and we were left listening to Frosty the Snowman on the overhead radio and waiting.
After our 10 minutes of laying and waiting, it was time to go. Here's our traditional leaving picture. Hopefully we're leaving as parents!
I think I've just gotten use to all of this. We're on #4. We may do a #5 or we may be moving on to IVF if this one doesn't work, but I'm hopeful, so full of hope that this one will work! Christmas magic and Birthday wishes and because if it does work, it'll be prior to January 1, 2011 that I'm officially pregnant and I would miss out on my full pay maternity leave, because that's how it would work, right?! *wink* (Yall know if we're pregnant, I really don't care about maternity leave pay...if we did, we would have waited).Also, I had more follicles this time than ever before. I didn't have the time to post about RCW's call with the nurses on Monday. But it went well. We didn't have a 2nd ultrasound, obviously since there was no post about it. They told RCW that I had 3 follicles at the ultrasound Saturday and felt very confident about this cycle. Lucky IUI#2 that worked (but sadly ended) we only had 2 follies. So I'm hopeful! I still don't understand how they know the follies will keep growing, and not just stay the same size (12mm), but whatever. Here's hoping by yesterday they were at least 18mm - 20mm!
And now the 2 week wait begins...again.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Bleary Eyed & Greasy Hair
Its 3:38 am.
I'm not awake by choice like a few nights ago. Tonight my alarm went off at 3am, prodding me to get out of bed and come put an ice pack on my upper right thigh. In a few moments, I'll go wake RCW up and he'll shoot me up with my HCG trigger shot, Ovidrel.
We decided to video this shot because well its become a tradition of sorts. We've done every other shot, so why not this one? We had set up the camera and tripod before going to bed last night. Forgive the robe, oily face, greasy hair. Ignore my semi-perkiness. After all, I've been up for almost an hour icing my leg down. Poor RCW, stumbled out of bed and doesn't say a single word. I think if he could work on his bedside manner, or maybe not practice on a few hours of sleep, he'd be an excellent doctor.
I'm not awake by choice like a few nights ago. Tonight my alarm went off at 3am, prodding me to get out of bed and come put an ice pack on my upper right thigh. In a few moments, I'll go wake RCW up and he'll shoot me up with my HCG trigger shot, Ovidrel.
We decided to video this shot because well its become a tradition of sorts. We've done every other shot, so why not this one? We had set up the camera and tripod before going to bed last night. Forgive the robe, oily face, greasy hair. Ignore my semi-perkiness. After all, I've been up for almost an hour icing my leg down. Poor RCW, stumbled out of bed and doesn't say a single word. I think if he could work on his bedside manner, or maybe not practice on a few hours of sleep, he'd be an excellent doctor.
You may be wondering WHY ON EARTH did we get up in the middle of the night for this shot? Well, it wasn't based on our doctor's orders. They actually told us to take the shot Tuesday night between 10pm and midnight. BUT after doing some research and knowing what we've done every other trigger, we felt like it was worth the extra effort to make sure our trigger was 36 hours before the IUI. IUI#4 will be Thursday at 3:45pm. 36 hours prior is Wednesday morning at 3:45am. So yea, we got up.
Our RE's office's policy on triggering is this: if you have a morning appointment, trigger between 6pm and 10pm; if you have an afternoon appointment, trigger between 10pm and midnight. This is at least for IUI, I can't speak to what protocol is for IVF. I suppose they know that ovulation can occur anywhere from 12 - 48 hours after triggering so it doesn't have to be a precise 36 hours and waking up in the middle of the night, but we chose to roll with it.
When do you ladies normally trigger?
Also, as I begin to mentally prepare for the 2W + 2 D wait, when do yall normally have a beta after an IUI? My RE always tells us he'll schedule a beta for 2 weeks and 2 days after the IUI if I haven't seen AF. It's a mind numbingly long wait!
Our RE's office's policy on triggering is this: if you have a morning appointment, trigger between 6pm and 10pm; if you have an afternoon appointment, trigger between 10pm and midnight. This is at least for IUI, I can't speak to what protocol is for IVF. I suppose they know that ovulation can occur anywhere from 12 - 48 hours after triggering so it doesn't have to be a precise 36 hours and waking up in the middle of the night, but we chose to roll with it.
When do you ladies normally trigger?
Also, as I begin to mentally prepare for the 2W + 2 D wait, when do yall normally have a beta after an IUI? My RE always tells us he'll schedule a beta for 2 weeks and 2 days after the IUI if I haven't seen AF. It's a mind numbingly long wait!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
28th Birthday Recap
I wanted to recap what happened leading up to the big gift reveal last night. After a yummy dinner of Red Robin, I was sitting patiently on the sofa waiting for RCW to come back into the living room so I could open my gifts! I happened to glance at our china cabinet and saw this reflection...
Another cake!! O.M.G. Don't worry though, RCW took my first cake to his office today to share. But yes, we're back to having 2 cakes in the house. Then RCW walked around the corner with a cake ablaze with 28 candles singing Happy Birthday to me.
Pose with the cake. I don't think its safe to have THAT many candles on a cake!
After blowing out my candles and making my birthday wish, it was time to open cards and gifts with the girls.
I was blessed with very generous gifts from everyone! Gloves and a scarf from RCW's mom and sister, tickets to see Mamma Mia in Louisville from my parents and a very generous check from RCW's grandma. AND I have more gifts arriving with my parents on Thursday too! Here I am with my gift before opening...
And here I am with my new Dyson Animal! As if you all couldn't tell just how excited I was by watching the video in the post before! I just couldn't believe RCW would spend so much money on a vacuum, he's totally anti the Dyson. He doesn't think it can be THAT much better than a regular one. We shall see...
And here I am with my amazingly generous and sweet hubby. Thank you RCW, I love you so much! But just remember our conversation from last night, not ALL appliances are created equal. This gift was majorly acceptable because its a DYSON ANIMAL, which equates to a ROCK STAR appliance! Please don't think you can get away with buying me any old iron or microwave as a gift in the future. *wink*
Thank you all for the birthday wishes! We'll get back to infertility and what's happen with IUI#4 soon, I promise!
Another cake!! O.M.G. Don't worry though, RCW took my first cake to his office today to share. But yes, we're back to having 2 cakes in the house. Then RCW walked around the corner with a cake ablaze with 28 candles singing Happy Birthday to me.
Pose with the cake. I don't think its safe to have THAT many candles on a cake!
After blowing out my candles and making my birthday wish, it was time to open cards and gifts with the girls.
I was blessed with very generous gifts from everyone! Gloves and a scarf from RCW's mom and sister, tickets to see Mamma Mia in Louisville from my parents and a very generous check from RCW's grandma. AND I have more gifts arriving with my parents on Thursday too! Here I am with my gift before opening...
And here I am with my new Dyson Animal! As if you all couldn't tell just how excited I was by watching the video in the post before! I just couldn't believe RCW would spend so much money on a vacuum, he's totally anti the Dyson. He doesn't think it can be THAT much better than a regular one. We shall see...
And here I am with my amazingly generous and sweet hubby. Thank you RCW, I love you so much! But just remember our conversation from last night, not ALL appliances are created equal. This gift was majorly acceptable because its a DYSON ANIMAL, which equates to a ROCK STAR appliance! Please don't think you can get away with buying me any old iron or microwave as a gift in the future. *wink*
Thank you all for the birthday wishes! We'll get back to infertility and what's happen with IUI#4 soon, I promise!
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Big Gift Reveal
I had many people guess what could have been in those 2 stacked boxes. I was the only right one with my guess...
I got a new Dyson and its the Animal one. I'm beyond thrilled!!! Kim, props to you, it did in fact come from Best Buy though!
I'll post with more pictures of my birthday tomorrow. Just wanted to share with everyone what was in the box! Thanks for all the wishes! I feel so loved and overwhelmed by everyone's thoughtfulness today!
I got a new Dyson and its the Animal one. I'm beyond thrilled!!! Kim, props to you, it did in fact come from Best Buy though!
I'll post with more pictures of my birthday tomorrow. Just wanted to share with everyone what was in the box! Thanks for all the wishes! I feel so loved and overwhelmed by everyone's thoughtfulness today!
At 6:36pm I'll Officially be 28!
Today is my birthday! I've already been overwhelmed by the number of Facebook messages, text messages and emails I've gotten this morning. Thank you to each and every one of you! You've made me feel so loved and special on my birthday!! This weekend we celebrated a little bit, especially after the craptastic RE appointment on Saturday. These are my 2 cakes! One is from Adrienne's, the delicious bakery that created our wedding and anniversary cakes and the second is from Dairy Queen. Every year around my birthday they begin to advertise their Christmas themed ice cream cakes and every year I want a Santa one. This year, I got it!
Here I am in my sweats and Santa hat with my cakes on Saturday night.
And this...this very large gift is my birthday gift from RCW. I have NOT a clue what it is. I went out yesterday afternoon so he could wrap it. When I arrived home, I found this by our tree. I've been trying to get hints from RCW, but he hasn't given up anything besides: A. The store was holding it for him until he picked it up Saturday evening B. He had to print out the pick up slip before he left C. He says it isn't something practical (I asked if it was a new Dyson vacuum!) So yea, I'm left wondering. I won't be opening until tonight...if anyone has any guesses let me know!
I'll do an update later today with the big massive gift reveal!
Here I am in my sweats and Santa hat with my cakes on Saturday night.
And this...this very large gift is my birthday gift from RCW. I have NOT a clue what it is. I went out yesterday afternoon so he could wrap it. When I arrived home, I found this by our tree. I've been trying to get hints from RCW, but he hasn't given up anything besides: A. The store was holding it for him until he picked it up Saturday evening B. He had to print out the pick up slip before he left C. He says it isn't something practical (I asked if it was a new Dyson vacuum!) So yea, I'm left wondering. I won't be opening until tonight...if anyone has any guesses let me know!
I'll do an update later today with the big massive gift reveal!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
I'd like a do over please. Pretty please.
So I got a few requests on Twitter today, I have accepted and now I must apologize, because I didn't post anything to Twitter until a couple hours ago. I was just in shock over how today went.
Ready for honesty? I felt great about this appointment. I had convinced myself THIS would be our time. Clomid didn't cause any side effects, I felt tweaks and twinges in my belly and I could see the handful of follies growing big and strong in my ovaries. We would be ready to go and take the Ovidrel tonight so we could do the IUI on my birthday, on Monday. I was ready for nothing but goodness to come our way today.
That did not happen. Not exactly.
RCW and I got there this morning to a room of other couples waiting. I walked in calm, cool and collected. Sitting there 5 minutes past our appointment time I had turned into a nervous wreck. What if I hadn't responded after all? What if this was another wasted cycle? FINALLY, a nurse opened the door and called my name. We walked back, confirmed by birthdate and went into Exam Room 2. I got undressed, RCW tried joking to make me laugh by hanging my panties on the closet doorknob (once I noticed we both lightened up and laughed and he put them in the closet with my pants, jacket and shoes), and I waited. I knew our appointment was with Dr. S's partner, Dr. A. I saw Dr. A for my very first u/s way back in August so I wasn't nervous to see him. Plus, our practice is pretty well known in the area and Dr. A is the more well known. Most people know his name and not our dear Dr. S. I felt as though I was in good hands. Dr. A waltzed in, said hellos and got to business. Insert the wand. I watched my mini u/s screen looking for big dark blobs instead of way too many tiny ones but the u/s was so quick. As soon as he was in, he was out. He didn't mention my uterine lining. He didn't tell me how many he saw. He just said, "You have a few follicles around 12mm, sit back up on the table". The nurse turned the light back up and Dr. A started writing in my chart. He told us that I had a few, but they would be growing at their own pace and speed and he wasn't sure when ovulation would take place but he thought we didn't need to do an insemination this cycle and stick with trying naturally, and the best days for us to try would be Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. He also noted that I had taken the highest dose of Clomid recommended (150mg) and he would make a note for Dr. S that we needed to look at other avenues, if there was a next time, but hopefully there wouldn't be. Then he left.
Um, what the F-bomb just happened?! I sat shocked on the table and just looked at RCW.
So, did I not respond? Are my follies not going to get any bigger? Can't we just start Prometrium and get on to the next cycle? WHY are we not doing IUI?! Just try naturally?! What? What? What?!!!!!
I got dressed and we decided that when I checked out I would ask that Dr. S call me when he got back into the office. I was trying to be calm, but yea my picture perfect birthday/Christmas IUI miracle just got ruined.
There were 2 other couples in front of us checking out. Both of them were getting scheduled for IUIs on Thursday. One of the ladies had 2 follices, a 12mm and 13mm. The nurse went on to explain that they would grow around 2mm each day so they'd be perfect for a Thursday insemination. My brain started ticking, "Mine are 12mm! Why don't we get to have an IUI on Thursday?!"
It was our turn.
The nurse asked for my co-pay and I gave it to her and then asked if Dr. S could call me to discuss today's appointment. She verified my number and said repeatedly she would give him the message but he wouldn't call until later next week. Later next week?! I have a time line here. What if I ovulated?! He couldn't just buzz me on Wednesday to discuss, I needed him to call on Monday! By this point, I was a bit frazzled, super frustrated and I know I was looking like a crazy lady. RCW just stood there. The nurse asked a few more questions and then said, "So, do you WANT to do an IUI?" YES YES YES! She said Dr. A probably thought we'd rather try naturally and he didn't want to push it on us, that he's had people get upset for suggesting IUIs. Um, did he look at our charts?! IUIs all the way please! She asked us to go sit in the lobby and she would talk with him because she saw where I had follicles ready on my chart he had just written up.
We walk out to the lobby. With about 4 other couples waiting. After all of this, I was losing it. My felt my face turn bright red from frustration and anger. I was talking to RCW in a quiet tone, not screaming or yelling or making a scene, but trying to vent my feelings to him. We drive 2 hours one way, pay money for everything and invest way too many feelings into this, why should I as the patient have to ask a regionally renowned RE if we can do an IUI?! RCW, unbeknown to me, was still processing everything that happened in roughly the last 10 minutes. He looked at me and told me "We don't act like this in public. You aren't making anything better by freaking out. Please calm down."
Well, this just outraged me even more! Was I embarrassing him with my frustrations? Had I been rude to the nurse? What was going on?!
Luckily, about 2 minutes later the nurse called us back and said Dr. A was on board with the IUI. We should have just asked. (Again, isn't that his job?!) So, we're scheduled for IUI#4 to happen on Thursday, December 23 at 3:45pm. Thank goodness!
As soon as we got off the elevator to walk to our car, I started to cry. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was over what happened with the doctor and I was over RCW talking to me like a toddler telling me "we don't act like this in public". Many more f bombs came out of my mouth. And then I just cried silently as RCW started to drive back towards Louisville, scrapping our plans for a fun Birthday Saturday in Cincinnati. Sitting silent in the car, so many emotions hit me and I wished so badly that I had a few email friends phone numbers. It struck me that I've never felt alone during this because RCW was by my side, but sitting in the lobby today not knowing what was going to happen and wondering what had just happened he didn't get it, he couldn't understand my emotions and I was left feeling alone. My mom doesn't fully get it, my good friends don't fully get it and now not even my husband gets it. The only people who can truly understand are those women who I email back and forth with a few times a week who are going through the same thing I am. It was a heart breaking moment to feel so alone...and on my birthday weekend.
We got out of Cincinnati, but a few exits into Northern Kentucky, RCW got off on an exit. I thought perhaps he needed to go to the bathroom. We were still sitting silently. He pulled into a random shopping center parking lot and apologized. He explained how he was feeling and that he just wasn't processing everything as quickly as I had. He told me he wasn't angry at me for speaking up to the nurse or for venting in the lobby. He wasn't embarrassed by me at all. And he was sorry for f-ing up and I had every right to be angry at him. We managed to talk through what had happened and how it was confusing for both of us in the moment. I cried some more and he wiped my tears.
Then we went into a random Christmas shop in the shopping center to brighten my mood. As we walked in, I put a $1 into the Salvation Army bucket and the bellringer thanked me, told me it was good to see a smile on my face and to remember that Jesus loves me and thats the best gift anyone could ever give. Thank you Salvation Army bellringer for doing good deeds and speaking the Truth. Thank you God for putting him in my path today and letting me hear Your words through him.
RCW and I were back to normal and headed back into Cincinnati for our fun filled day of shopping and eating. We did agree that RCW is going to call the RE's office to leave a message asking if there is anyway that we can have an ultrasound with Dr. S on Monday or Tuesday this week to really see how my follies are doing. We're both concerned that we don't know more. Granted today is CD11, a day earlier than my normal u/s, but my typical IUIs fall on CD14. This one will be on CD16. Did Dr. A just tell us to go ahead with the IUI because we questioned him and he gave in to what we wanted? Is this the best bet for us? We just don't know and won't feel comfortable going ahead with the IUI until we talk to Dr. S or at least have his nurses talk to us about everything.
Overall I really love our RE's office. Dr. S has been fabulous. But sometimes, I feel like I'm annoying them. I ask too many questions. I call too many times. Shouldn't they be use to this...women getting pregnant and dealing with infertility should ask questions and not be looked at like a crazy nutso lady. I don't want to change REs just yet, but depending on how this plays out I may request to only see Dr. S from here on out. I am trying to remain hopeful, but again, I'm not going to make any full decisions until we talk to our doctor.
I'm off to enjoy my birthday cake(s). Yes, cake(s). Yes, 2 days early. Yes, I needed that today.
Ready for honesty? I felt great about this appointment. I had convinced myself THIS would be our time. Clomid didn't cause any side effects, I felt tweaks and twinges in my belly and I could see the handful of follies growing big and strong in my ovaries. We would be ready to go and take the Ovidrel tonight so we could do the IUI on my birthday, on Monday. I was ready for nothing but goodness to come our way today.
That did not happen. Not exactly.
RCW and I got there this morning to a room of other couples waiting. I walked in calm, cool and collected. Sitting there 5 minutes past our appointment time I had turned into a nervous wreck. What if I hadn't responded after all? What if this was another wasted cycle? FINALLY, a nurse opened the door and called my name. We walked back, confirmed by birthdate and went into Exam Room 2. I got undressed, RCW tried joking to make me laugh by hanging my panties on the closet doorknob (once I noticed we both lightened up and laughed and he put them in the closet with my pants, jacket and shoes), and I waited. I knew our appointment was with Dr. S's partner, Dr. A. I saw Dr. A for my very first u/s way back in August so I wasn't nervous to see him. Plus, our practice is pretty well known in the area and Dr. A is the more well known. Most people know his name and not our dear Dr. S. I felt as though I was in good hands. Dr. A waltzed in, said hellos and got to business. Insert the wand. I watched my mini u/s screen looking for big dark blobs instead of way too many tiny ones but the u/s was so quick. As soon as he was in, he was out. He didn't mention my uterine lining. He didn't tell me how many he saw. He just said, "You have a few follicles around 12mm, sit back up on the table". The nurse turned the light back up and Dr. A started writing in my chart. He told us that I had a few, but they would be growing at their own pace and speed and he wasn't sure when ovulation would take place but he thought we didn't need to do an insemination this cycle and stick with trying naturally, and the best days for us to try would be Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. He also noted that I had taken the highest dose of Clomid recommended (150mg) and he would make a note for Dr. S that we needed to look at other avenues, if there was a next time, but hopefully there wouldn't be. Then he left.
Um, what the F-bomb just happened?! I sat shocked on the table and just looked at RCW.
So, did I not respond? Are my follies not going to get any bigger? Can't we just start Prometrium and get on to the next cycle? WHY are we not doing IUI?! Just try naturally?! What? What? What?!!!!!
I got dressed and we decided that when I checked out I would ask that Dr. S call me when he got back into the office. I was trying to be calm, but yea my picture perfect birthday/Christmas IUI miracle just got ruined.
There were 2 other couples in front of us checking out. Both of them were getting scheduled for IUIs on Thursday. One of the ladies had 2 follices, a 12mm and 13mm. The nurse went on to explain that they would grow around 2mm each day so they'd be perfect for a Thursday insemination. My brain started ticking, "Mine are 12mm! Why don't we get to have an IUI on Thursday?!"
It was our turn.
The nurse asked for my co-pay and I gave it to her and then asked if Dr. S could call me to discuss today's appointment. She verified my number and said repeatedly she would give him the message but he wouldn't call until later next week. Later next week?! I have a time line here. What if I ovulated?! He couldn't just buzz me on Wednesday to discuss, I needed him to call on Monday! By this point, I was a bit frazzled, super frustrated and I know I was looking like a crazy lady. RCW just stood there. The nurse asked a few more questions and then said, "So, do you WANT to do an IUI?" YES YES YES! She said Dr. A probably thought we'd rather try naturally and he didn't want to push it on us, that he's had people get upset for suggesting IUIs. Um, did he look at our charts?! IUIs all the way please! She asked us to go sit in the lobby and she would talk with him because she saw where I had follicles ready on my chart he had just written up.
We walk out to the lobby. With about 4 other couples waiting. After all of this, I was losing it. My felt my face turn bright red from frustration and anger. I was talking to RCW in a quiet tone, not screaming or yelling or making a scene, but trying to vent my feelings to him. We drive 2 hours one way, pay money for everything and invest way too many feelings into this, why should I as the patient have to ask a regionally renowned RE if we can do an IUI?! RCW, unbeknown to me, was still processing everything that happened in roughly the last 10 minutes. He looked at me and told me "We don't act like this in public. You aren't making anything better by freaking out. Please calm down."
Well, this just outraged me even more! Was I embarrassing him with my frustrations? Had I been rude to the nurse? What was going on?!
Luckily, about 2 minutes later the nurse called us back and said Dr. A was on board with the IUI. We should have just asked. (Again, isn't that his job?!) So, we're scheduled for IUI#4 to happen on Thursday, December 23 at 3:45pm. Thank goodness!
As soon as we got off the elevator to walk to our car, I started to cry. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was over what happened with the doctor and I was over RCW talking to me like a toddler telling me "we don't act like this in public". Many more f bombs came out of my mouth. And then I just cried silently as RCW started to drive back towards Louisville, scrapping our plans for a fun Birthday Saturday in Cincinnati. Sitting silent in the car, so many emotions hit me and I wished so badly that I had a few email friends phone numbers. It struck me that I've never felt alone during this because RCW was by my side, but sitting in the lobby today not knowing what was going to happen and wondering what had just happened he didn't get it, he couldn't understand my emotions and I was left feeling alone. My mom doesn't fully get it, my good friends don't fully get it and now not even my husband gets it. The only people who can truly understand are those women who I email back and forth with a few times a week who are going through the same thing I am. It was a heart breaking moment to feel so alone...and on my birthday weekend.
We got out of Cincinnati, but a few exits into Northern Kentucky, RCW got off on an exit. I thought perhaps he needed to go to the bathroom. We were still sitting silently. He pulled into a random shopping center parking lot and apologized. He explained how he was feeling and that he just wasn't processing everything as quickly as I had. He told me he wasn't angry at me for speaking up to the nurse or for venting in the lobby. He wasn't embarrassed by me at all. And he was sorry for f-ing up and I had every right to be angry at him. We managed to talk through what had happened and how it was confusing for both of us in the moment. I cried some more and he wiped my tears.
Then we went into a random Christmas shop in the shopping center to brighten my mood. As we walked in, I put a $1 into the Salvation Army bucket and the bellringer thanked me, told me it was good to see a smile on my face and to remember that Jesus loves me and thats the best gift anyone could ever give. Thank you Salvation Army bellringer for doing good deeds and speaking the Truth. Thank you God for putting him in my path today and letting me hear Your words through him.
RCW and I were back to normal and headed back into Cincinnati for our fun filled day of shopping and eating. We did agree that RCW is going to call the RE's office to leave a message asking if there is anyway that we can have an ultrasound with Dr. S on Monday or Tuesday this week to really see how my follies are doing. We're both concerned that we don't know more. Granted today is CD11, a day earlier than my normal u/s, but my typical IUIs fall on CD14. This one will be on CD16. Did Dr. A just tell us to go ahead with the IUI because we questioned him and he gave in to what we wanted? Is this the best bet for us? We just don't know and won't feel comfortable going ahead with the IUI until we talk to Dr. S or at least have his nurses talk to us about everything.
Overall I really love our RE's office. Dr. S has been fabulous. But sometimes, I feel like I'm annoying them. I ask too many questions. I call too many times. Shouldn't they be use to this...women getting pregnant and dealing with infertility should ask questions and not be looked at like a crazy nutso lady. I don't want to change REs just yet, but depending on how this plays out I may request to only see Dr. S from here on out. I am trying to remain hopeful, but again, I'm not going to make any full decisions until we talk to our doctor.
I'm off to enjoy my birthday cake(s). Yes, cake(s). Yes, 2 days early. Yes, I needed that today.
Twas the night before my ultrasound...
Twas the night before my ultrasound, when all through my blog
The only creatures stirring were myself and a dog.
Yea, sorry, its 4:37am. I've been awake since 3am. Left the bedroom at 3:20am and here I am. You're lucky you got 2 lines of rhyme! We were in bed by 10pm, but yea, here I am wide awake. I think its the nerves. I know its the nerves. What if we go up to Cincinnati and I don't have any mature follies? What if I didn't respond to the increased meds at all? What if this is just another wasted cycle?
I'm trying to tell myself that IF that's the case this morning, it means I can drink without guilt on my birthday. I can continue enjoying Starbucks. But who am I kidding? I'll be miserable if this cycle doesn't result in an IUI with decent chances.
But lets lighten up the mood a little bit. We are 1 week away from Christmas morning!! How did it get here so quickly?! And while RCW and I both thought we'd be pregnant by now, we're still enjoying the season and haven't experienced too much Scrooginess.
A friend from high school, Katie, posted this and I thought it was fun. So here we go...
A Christmas Q&A
1. Wrapping Paper of Gift Bags?
9 out of 10 times, wrapping paper tied up with ribbons and bows. If I'm in a rush or, um, its a secret Santa gift, its going into a gift bag.
2. Real Tree or Artificial?
Growing up we always had an artificial tree. For RCW and mine's first few Christmas's together we went out and had a real tree. It got old after a handful of years so as of last year we're back to artificial.
3. When do you put the tree up?
With the real tree it was after Thanksgiving, but now that we have the artificial its been going up before Thanksgiving. We don't really have a set date.
4. When do you take the tree down?
It definitely stays up through New Years and will come down the following weekend. If I had my way, I'd leave it up year round!
5. Do you like Eggnog?
Um, I don't think I've ever tasted it. The name just throws me off. It doesn't sound delicious at all. RCW loves it though!
6. Favorite gift as a child?
My favorite gift EVER was my first husky, Wolf. It was Christmas 1990 and all I had wanted forever was a dog. Finally, Santa brought me one! And now my love of huskies.
7. Hardest person to buy for?
RCW. Here's the deal, if we want things we buy them. Thus, the only things we really want are insanely expensive...his wish this year, a surround sound speaker system. Um, yea, no. His other wishes this year which between our families will be taken care of easily, a stainless steel coffee mug and boot dryer. And those are just things I stopped him from buying since most people were looking for gift ideas! In years past, I've thought of fabulous ideas for gifts (a grill, a toolbox, a bigger bottom Craftsman chest he said he wanted) and yea, those ideas all went back to the store because they weren't the exact one he wanted. We mutually agreed we are not exchanging gifts this year at all. With all the IUIs and baby stuff, we decided we didn't need to spend extra money on gifts. The best gift for both of us would be getting pregnant.
8. Easiest Person to buy for?
My dad. He loves EVERYTHING. He likes to read, he's a wee obsessed with his black lab. He likes StarWars. I have never ever had a problem finding him a gift that I knew he would adore.
9. Do you have a Nativity Scene?
We do. Its a small and fairly cheap one from Hobby Lobby. We bought it the very first Christmas we spent together and its adorable. But, this year, RCW's grandma is gifting us with a piece of the Willow Tree nativity. Each year, we'll add on to it. I'm really excited to get it because its gorgeous. And um, I hope no one finds this disrespectful, but I told you we're husky obsessed and I found this amazing piece on Etsy. Find your breed of choice here :) They are tiny and I think it'll be cute sitting in front of our tv next year. Or year round!
10. Mail or Email Christmas Cards?
Definitely mail. ALWAYS mail. I don't remember ever sending out Christmas cards growing up. Seriously, I don't. We didn't take pictures or anything, but ever since RCW and I started our own Christmas traditions in 2006 we have taken a picture and mailed out a card to our friends and family. Its one of my favorite traditions!
11. Worst Christmas Gift you have ever received?
Worst gift...hmm...the gift that pops into my mind is from senior year. Now, here is where I get honest. I was spoiled. Not a brat, but spoiled or as Shannon Tweed from Gene Simmon's Family Jewels said about their oldest son on this week's episode, richly rewarded for being a good kid. So, my parents always went above and beyond for Christmas and well for everything else in my life too. So for my Sweet 16 Christmas, I woke up to find keys in my stocking to a brand new Bond blue BMW z3. (Heaven! And a very close second favorite gift, Wolf still takes the top prize though.) That was my sophomore year of high school. My junior year my parents, or um, my dad, went all out and bought me the nicest piece of jewelry I still wear everyday, a Rolex watch. I got that it was an expensive timepiece back at 17, but now at 27 I love that I have this watch and that it came from my parents. My dad is a watch lover and has many. He even gave RCW a super nice one of his as a wedding gift! So yea, 2 amazingly ridiculous Christmas's in a row. Then came my senior year. I don't recall what I had been expecting, but my big gift that year wasn't anywhere near a car or a Rolex! I got a new TV for my bedroom that had a built in VCR and DVD. Oh yes, back in the days of the switchover. I wasn't a happy camper that year with that gift, but ya know what, that TV is STILL in our bedroom and used! Yea a lot of backstory, but I had to make yall understand why a TV was my worst gift!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Love, Actually.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Normally around late October. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. If I don't at least have a list of what to buy ready by mid November, I'm stressing. Christmas is a week away, but we still have a handful of gifts left to buy.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas Gift?
Ok, honestly, yes. I've received gift cards to places I don't frequent and regiven them to others. And I've gotten some things in years past that didn't fit my style so I've given them to friends, not as a Christmas gift, just as a "I know you'll like this and I don't" gift.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Cookies and candy! But Christmas food for me is marked by fried oysters! I know, random. My mom grew up in eastern Virginia and I guess she brought the tradition to us, but each meal at Christmas had fried oysters growing up - Christmas Eve, Christmas morning breakfast and Christmas dinner. RCW and I don't do oysters for all 3 meals, but they are a part of our Christmas dinner each year. Yum!
16. Lights on the tree? Colored or White?
Grew up with colored, but now we chose to go with white. When we have a bigger house one day, I think we'll have a formal tree with white and the family/Santa tree will have colored though.
17. Favorite Christmas Song?
We Need A Little Christmas
18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home?
Its been both. Growing up we had Christmas morning at our house and later in the day visited grandmas who were a 2 hour drive away. Now, we've gone back to RVA for Christmas and we've stayed in Louisville and my parents have come to us. I truly enjoy being at our home for Christmas. When we have kids, it'll be hard since our families are 8 hours away, so I don't know what we'll do, but I do know, I don't want our kiddos to miss every Christmas away from our home.
19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeer?
I think so...ok, no cheating. Rudolph, Dancer, Dasher, Vixen, Blitzen, Donner, Cupid, Prancer. I got all of those and then had to cheat. I couldn't remember poor Comet.
20. Angel, Bow, or Star on the top of your tree?
Always an angel, until this year. We switched to a star.
21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
All gifts on Christmas Day! I was never one of those kids who got to sneak a gift on Christmas Eve, but all of our gifts always came from Santa, never mom and dad, so we didn't have gifts under the tree until Christmas morning.
22. Your favorite Ornament?
That's hard. I have a lot! But if I must choose, its a fairly recent one. We got Dallas in March 2006 and had our first Christmas on our own that year too. Hallmark had an ornament that year that reads 2006 with a husky sitting on top of it. Its perfect. And its my favorite because it reminds me our first little girl and our first Christmas together.
So this was the most husky heavy post I've ever done before! Hope yall don't mind too much! If you do this Q&A, post me your link in the comments. I love reading stuff like this :) Hope you all have a great weekend before Christmas and once I know the verdict of the ultrasound this morning I'll post on Twitter!
The only creatures stirring were myself and a dog.
Yea, sorry, its 4:37am. I've been awake since 3am. Left the bedroom at 3:20am and here I am. You're lucky you got 2 lines of rhyme! We were in bed by 10pm, but yea, here I am wide awake. I think its the nerves. I know its the nerves. What if we go up to Cincinnati and I don't have any mature follies? What if I didn't respond to the increased meds at all? What if this is just another wasted cycle?I'm trying to tell myself that IF that's the case this morning, it means I can drink without guilt on my birthday. I can continue enjoying Starbucks. But who am I kidding? I'll be miserable if this cycle doesn't result in an IUI with decent chances.
But lets lighten up the mood a little bit. We are 1 week away from Christmas morning!! How did it get here so quickly?! And while RCW and I both thought we'd be pregnant by now, we're still enjoying the season and haven't experienced too much Scrooginess.
A friend from high school, Katie, posted this and I thought it was fun. So here we go...
A Christmas Q&A
1. Wrapping Paper of Gift Bags?
9 out of 10 times, wrapping paper tied up with ribbons and bows. If I'm in a rush or, um, its a secret Santa gift, its going into a gift bag.
2. Real Tree or Artificial?
Growing up we always had an artificial tree. For RCW and mine's first few Christmas's together we went out and had a real tree. It got old after a handful of years so as of last year we're back to artificial.
3. When do you put the tree up?
With the real tree it was after Thanksgiving, but now that we have the artificial its been going up before Thanksgiving. We don't really have a set date.
4. When do you take the tree down?
It definitely stays up through New Years and will come down the following weekend. If I had my way, I'd leave it up year round!
5. Do you like Eggnog?
Um, I don't think I've ever tasted it. The name just throws me off. It doesn't sound delicious at all. RCW loves it though!
6. Favorite gift as a child?
My favorite gift EVER was my first husky, Wolf. It was Christmas 1990 and all I had wanted forever was a dog. Finally, Santa brought me one! And now my love of huskies.
7. Hardest person to buy for?
RCW. Here's the deal, if we want things we buy them. Thus, the only things we really want are insanely expensive...his wish this year, a surround sound speaker system. Um, yea, no. His other wishes this year which between our families will be taken care of easily, a stainless steel coffee mug and boot dryer. And those are just things I stopped him from buying since most people were looking for gift ideas! In years past, I've thought of fabulous ideas for gifts (a grill, a toolbox, a bigger bottom Craftsman chest he said he wanted) and yea, those ideas all went back to the store because they weren't the exact one he wanted. We mutually agreed we are not exchanging gifts this year at all. With all the IUIs and baby stuff, we decided we didn't need to spend extra money on gifts. The best gift for both of us would be getting pregnant.
8. Easiest Person to buy for?
My dad. He loves EVERYTHING. He likes to read, he's a wee obsessed with his black lab. He likes StarWars. I have never ever had a problem finding him a gift that I knew he would adore.
9. Do you have a Nativity Scene?
We do. Its a small and fairly cheap one from Hobby Lobby. We bought it the very first Christmas we spent together and its adorable. But, this year, RCW's grandma is gifting us with a piece of the Willow Tree nativity. Each year, we'll add on to it. I'm really excited to get it because its gorgeous. And um, I hope no one finds this disrespectful, but I told you we're husky obsessed and I found this amazing piece on Etsy. Find your breed of choice here :) They are tiny and I think it'll be cute sitting in front of our tv next year. Or year round!
10. Mail or Email Christmas Cards?
Definitely mail. ALWAYS mail. I don't remember ever sending out Christmas cards growing up. Seriously, I don't. We didn't take pictures or anything, but ever since RCW and I started our own Christmas traditions in 2006 we have taken a picture and mailed out a card to our friends and family. Its one of my favorite traditions!
11. Worst Christmas Gift you have ever received?
Worst gift...hmm...the gift that pops into my mind is from senior year. Now, here is where I get honest. I was spoiled. Not a brat, but spoiled or as Shannon Tweed from Gene Simmon's Family Jewels said about their oldest son on this week's episode, richly rewarded for being a good kid. So, my parents always went above and beyond for Christmas and well for everything else in my life too. So for my Sweet 16 Christmas, I woke up to find keys in my stocking to a brand new Bond blue BMW z3. (Heaven! And a very close second favorite gift, Wolf still takes the top prize though.) That was my sophomore year of high school. My junior year my parents, or um, my dad, went all out and bought me the nicest piece of jewelry I still wear everyday, a Rolex watch. I got that it was an expensive timepiece back at 17, but now at 27 I love that I have this watch and that it came from my parents. My dad is a watch lover and has many. He even gave RCW a super nice one of his as a wedding gift! So yea, 2 amazingly ridiculous Christmas's in a row. Then came my senior year. I don't recall what I had been expecting, but my big gift that year wasn't anywhere near a car or a Rolex! I got a new TV for my bedroom that had a built in VCR and DVD. Oh yes, back in the days of the switchover. I wasn't a happy camper that year with that gift, but ya know what, that TV is STILL in our bedroom and used! Yea a lot of backstory, but I had to make yall understand why a TV was my worst gift!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Love, Actually.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Normally around late October. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. If I don't at least have a list of what to buy ready by mid November, I'm stressing. Christmas is a week away, but we still have a handful of gifts left to buy.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas Gift?
Ok, honestly, yes. I've received gift cards to places I don't frequent and regiven them to others. And I've gotten some things in years past that didn't fit my style so I've given them to friends, not as a Christmas gift, just as a "I know you'll like this and I don't" gift.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Cookies and candy! But Christmas food for me is marked by fried oysters! I know, random. My mom grew up in eastern Virginia and I guess she brought the tradition to us, but each meal at Christmas had fried oysters growing up - Christmas Eve, Christmas morning breakfast and Christmas dinner. RCW and I don't do oysters for all 3 meals, but they are a part of our Christmas dinner each year. Yum!
16. Lights on the tree? Colored or White?
Grew up with colored, but now we chose to go with white. When we have a bigger house one day, I think we'll have a formal tree with white and the family/Santa tree will have colored though.
17. Favorite Christmas Song?
We Need A Little Christmas
18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home?
Its been both. Growing up we had Christmas morning at our house and later in the day visited grandmas who were a 2 hour drive away. Now, we've gone back to RVA for Christmas and we've stayed in Louisville and my parents have come to us. I truly enjoy being at our home for Christmas. When we have kids, it'll be hard since our families are 8 hours away, so I don't know what we'll do, but I do know, I don't want our kiddos to miss every Christmas away from our home.
19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeer?
I think so...ok, no cheating. Rudolph, Dancer, Dasher, Vixen, Blitzen, Donner, Cupid, Prancer. I got all of those and then had to cheat. I couldn't remember poor Comet.
20. Angel, Bow, or Star on the top of your tree?
Always an angel, until this year. We switched to a star.
21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
All gifts on Christmas Day! I was never one of those kids who got to sneak a gift on Christmas Eve, but all of our gifts always came from Santa, never mom and dad, so we didn't have gifts under the tree until Christmas morning.
22. Your favorite Ornament?
That's hard. I have a lot! But if I must choose, its a fairly recent one. We got Dallas in March 2006 and had our first Christmas on our own that year too. Hallmark had an ornament that year that reads 2006 with a husky sitting on top of it. Its perfect. And its my favorite because it reminds me our first little girl and our first Christmas together.
So this was the most husky heavy post I've ever done before! Hope yall don't mind too much! If you do this Q&A, post me your link in the comments. I love reading stuff like this :) Hope you all have a great weekend before Christmas and once I know the verdict of the ultrasound this morning I'll post on Twitter!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Christmas Geese
Perhaps you remember when I blogged a few weeks ago about participating in the Kitty and Canine Holiday Blogger Gift Exchange?
Well our girls, Dallas & Loucie, got paired with Cat's adorable Great Danes, Baxter & Sonia. So take a second and go check out Cat...she has a Tumblr called Story of my life. which I love. Its like getting little jewels of fun throughout the day! And she recently started a blog, titled The Housewife Chronicles with all kinds of awesome recipes, product reviews and other kinds of goodness. Cat is awesome and her dogs are amazing. So, today, the mailman slid up our icy sidewalk and brought a package to us that was addressed to Dallas & Loucie. RCW was home and we immediately grabbed the camera and let the girls open their goodies!
RCW showing Dallas the generous givers of all the goodies in the box. Seriously, go check out Cat's blogs to see Baxter & Sonia. I'm in love with them!
Loucie getting into the action
First gift out...Christmas geese. The girls adore these toys. Dallas is throwing hers in the air as I'm typing right now.
But Dallas quickly got over the goose because of what else she smelled inside the box...PIG EARS!
Cat wrote a nice note about how these are all natural and the Danes ultimate fave. It was the first time the girls had enjoyed such a delicious treat, but it will not be the last. These were devoured in about 10 minutes and then they came looking for more!
Nom. Nom. Nom.
So not only did the girls get pig ears, which they were eating and I didn't dare take away and their Christmas geese, but they also got a yummy bag of treats which they will enjoy later on this weekend.
Cat, Baxter & Sonia, THANK YOU so very much for all of our goodies! You guys definitely spoiled us. If you're ever in Louisville or passing through, please stop by and come play!
Well our girls, Dallas & Loucie, got paired with Cat's adorable Great Danes, Baxter & Sonia. So take a second and go check out Cat...she has a Tumblr called Story of my life. which I love. Its like getting little jewels of fun throughout the day! And she recently started a blog, titled The Housewife Chronicles with all kinds of awesome recipes, product reviews and other kinds of goodness. Cat is awesome and her dogs are amazing. So, today, the mailman slid up our icy sidewalk and brought a package to us that was addressed to Dallas & Loucie. RCW was home and we immediately grabbed the camera and let the girls open their goodies!Dallas sniffing into the box. (Yes, we have a stuffed Christmas husky who hangs out by our Christmas tree. Our friend's little girl last Christmas named him "Shoot". We roll with it. He's a bit creepy in the pictures, but adorable in real life!
RCW showing Dallas the generous givers of all the goodies in the box. Seriously, go check out Cat's blogs to see Baxter & Sonia. I'm in love with them!
Loucie getting into the action
First gift out...Christmas geese. The girls adore these toys. Dallas is throwing hers in the air as I'm typing right now.
But Dallas quickly got over the goose because of what else she smelled inside the box...PIG EARS!
Cat wrote a nice note about how these are all natural and the Danes ultimate fave. It was the first time the girls had enjoyed such a delicious treat, but it will not be the last. These were devoured in about 10 minutes and then they came looking for more!
Nom. Nom. Nom.
So not only did the girls get pig ears, which they were eating and I didn't dare take away and their Christmas geese, but they also got a yummy bag of treats which they will enjoy later on this weekend.
Cat, Baxter & Sonia, THANK YOU so very much for all of our goodies! You guys definitely spoiled us. If you're ever in Louisville or passing through, please stop by and come play!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
our very own ice skating rink
We had snow in Louisville over the weekend. Monday schools were closed and I even had a delay going into work. All week the local meteorologists have been warning of the impending ice storm. Warning that it would hit Wednesday into Thursday and it would be dangerous and hazardous and they successfully got many people I know worked into a tizzy. Wednesday morning while getting ready for work the TV told me that precipitation would start around lunchtime and go through the night. At 12:50pm I looked out my office window and saw nothing. I checked weatherchannel.com and apparently the storm was moving slower than expected. We wouldn't see any snow/ice/sleet/freezing rain until 7pm. Great, I could get home safe and sound! Last night while cozy in my pjs with my hubby and pups by my side watching Mike & Molly, I looked out the back window and still saw nothing. When we let the girls out before bed, there was still nothing happening.
We went to bed and I fully expected I'd be getting up to go into work this morning. Because I work for a school system, we have an alert system that sends me a text message if we're closed, have a delayed opening or any other emergency situations. Now, we were in bed asleep by 9:45pm. I woke up at 11:35pm, 2:15am, 3:30am and 4:15am. Each time I reached for my phone to see if there was a text message not knowing what it even looked like outside my window. Now I'm rational and I knew we wouldn't know about being closed until closer to 5am or 6am. I didn't think the President would send an alert out at 2am, but I just couldn't help it! When there was nothing at 4:15am, I rolled over thinking I'd be going into work and I better make the most of the next couple hours of sleep. RCW's alarm went off at 5am. I rolled over and again grabbed my phone. There it was, a text! We were closed! Does having a snow day ever get old?! I was just as excited to see that message as when I was younger and in school watching to see my county's system scroll across the bottom of the TV or hear it announced on the radio! Despite it being 5am, I jumped up and ran to look out the window.
It didn't look like anything since we didn't get the snow, but oh the ice. We let the pups out the back door and watched as they slid across the deck. Then I realized how bad it was outside and why I was really happy to not drive in it. Just to tell you how bad it really is....when it was time for the girls to come inside, they couldn't get up the deck stairs. Our deck is basically second level so there are about 10 steps to go up and down. Loucie stepped on the bottom step and slide. She actually went into the bushes to maneuver onto the second to bottom step thinking she could come up that way. As if the issue was just the one bottom step! She's a smart cookie. Dallas just stood waiting to be rescued. Our winter husky pups may love the snow, but ice is another story! RCW went out, kicking and stomping the ice on the deck and made a path down the middle of the staircase. With his encouragement they slowly tiptoed up the stairs and into the house. And this next antidote isn't so much about the ice, but about our spoiled first baby, Dallas. Mind you, she doesn't like getting her feet wet. She can't stand going outside in the rain or even dew in the spring mornings. We have stepping stones leading from our deck to our gazebo. When its wet, Dallas will walk down the stairs, carefully step on the stepping stones and run to the gazebo to avoid walking in wet grass. She's a mess! So this morning, they were outside for a good 15-20 minutes before coming inside and should have been good to go for the day. Nope. RCW left, I was hanging out in the bedroom with Loucie and when I came out into the living room, I smelled a horrible scent. I knew immediately what it was...pee. Dallas had peed in the living room by the back door. I guarantee she never went to the bathroom when she was outside this morning because of the ice and hating the elements. Spoiled. Spoiled rotten! Do any of you have any tips for dealing with reinforcing potty training with an older dog, she 4 years old. And only pet lovers will understand, but I KNOW she KNOWS what she is doing and that what's she doing is wrong. I just don't know how to fix it...
Anyway, I'm home. RCW had to go to work. He texted me and said the main roads aren't bad just the side roads. Still, I have no plans of leaving the house today. I did venture outside to take pictures of our iceland to share. Thanks for all the ice day wishes, I'd prefer snow, but I'll take whatever will get me a day at home!
Our own ice rink...aka our cul-de-sac
Those birds must have super cold tushies!
And the back yard view
Trying to be all artsy with icicles
I hope that wherever you are, you're warm and cozy and possibly enjoying a day off too!
We went to bed and I fully expected I'd be getting up to go into work this morning. Because I work for a school system, we have an alert system that sends me a text message if we're closed, have a delayed opening or any other emergency situations. Now, we were in bed asleep by 9:45pm. I woke up at 11:35pm, 2:15am, 3:30am and 4:15am. Each time I reached for my phone to see if there was a text message not knowing what it even looked like outside my window. Now I'm rational and I knew we wouldn't know about being closed until closer to 5am or 6am. I didn't think the President would send an alert out at 2am, but I just couldn't help it! When there was nothing at 4:15am, I rolled over thinking I'd be going into work and I better make the most of the next couple hours of sleep. RCW's alarm went off at 5am. I rolled over and again grabbed my phone. There it was, a text! We were closed! Does having a snow day ever get old?! I was just as excited to see that message as when I was younger and in school watching to see my county's system scroll across the bottom of the TV or hear it announced on the radio! Despite it being 5am, I jumped up and ran to look out the window.
It didn't look like anything since we didn't get the snow, but oh the ice. We let the pups out the back door and watched as they slid across the deck. Then I realized how bad it was outside and why I was really happy to not drive in it. Just to tell you how bad it really is....when it was time for the girls to come inside, they couldn't get up the deck stairs. Our deck is basically second level so there are about 10 steps to go up and down. Loucie stepped on the bottom step and slide. She actually went into the bushes to maneuver onto the second to bottom step thinking she could come up that way. As if the issue was just the one bottom step! She's a smart cookie. Dallas just stood waiting to be rescued. Our winter husky pups may love the snow, but ice is another story! RCW went out, kicking and stomping the ice on the deck and made a path down the middle of the staircase. With his encouragement they slowly tiptoed up the stairs and into the house. And this next antidote isn't so much about the ice, but about our spoiled first baby, Dallas. Mind you, she doesn't like getting her feet wet. She can't stand going outside in the rain or even dew in the spring mornings. We have stepping stones leading from our deck to our gazebo. When its wet, Dallas will walk down the stairs, carefully step on the stepping stones and run to the gazebo to avoid walking in wet grass. She's a mess! So this morning, they were outside for a good 15-20 minutes before coming inside and should have been good to go for the day. Nope. RCW left, I was hanging out in the bedroom with Loucie and when I came out into the living room, I smelled a horrible scent. I knew immediately what it was...pee. Dallas had peed in the living room by the back door. I guarantee she never went to the bathroom when she was outside this morning because of the ice and hating the elements. Spoiled. Spoiled rotten! Do any of you have any tips for dealing with reinforcing potty training with an older dog, she 4 years old. And only pet lovers will understand, but I KNOW she KNOWS what she is doing and that what's she doing is wrong. I just don't know how to fix it...
Anyway, I'm home. RCW had to go to work. He texted me and said the main roads aren't bad just the side roads. Still, I have no plans of leaving the house today. I did venture outside to take pictures of our iceland to share. Thanks for all the ice day wishes, I'd prefer snow, but I'll take whatever will get me a day at home!
Its a rough life...
Our own ice rink...aka our cul-de-sac
Those birds must have super cold tushies!
And the back yard view
Trying to be all artsy with icicles
I hope that wherever you are, you're warm and cozy and possibly enjoying a day off too!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
We're Back to Real Life
So we are all caught up. And I must be honest, I'm not sure what to write now. I had gotten pretty comfy with the 30 Day Blog Challenge prompts and then super cushy with reposting everything that happened with IUI#2, IUI#3 and what would have been IUI#4 from my private blog. And here we are now...
I have ideas on things to say. They happen when I'm driving or when I'm being lazy watching TV, playing on Facebook and cleaning out my Reader. But when it comes to sitting down to write, bleh. I got comfy and honestly haven't really written for a good month or so now. Now, I need to climb back on the horse or push off on my bike pedals or whatever other metaphor you can imagine.
I know you all want to be 100% caught up on our IF journey so in this post I'll stick to the facts. I'm on CD8. I just finished yesterday my 5 days of 150mg Clomid. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Saturday in Cincinnati with Dr. S's partner, Dr. A. Its for CD11. I'm not sure why because their offices are open 7 days a week, but whatev. Depending on what we see, I'm guessing the IUI will be on Monday or Tuesday next week on CD13 and CD14.
As far as the meds go...with this cycle I just don't know what to think. I don't want to get my hopes up, but who am I kidding, they are up! For starters, my birthday is Monday. I'm taking that as a good sign. Christmas is next Saturday. I'm praying we're going to have a birthday/Christmas miracle and we'll get pregnant and have a baby due right before our 2 year wedding anniversary in September 2011. Yea, I have high hopes of fate working this round, but I must admit its a jaded hope. I've been let down before. So in the split second I'm feeling great, half a second later, I'm doubtful and feel as though I'm jinxing myself. But back to the meds...
Clomid 150mg. If you all recall, my last round of Clomid at just 100mg was not pretty. I didn't post as openly and honestly because I was embarrassed by my hormonal side effects the last round. Not only did my face break out something horrible, but I experienced almost constant hot flashes and the absolute worst - I was a holy terror. Imagine the unimaginable crazy lady combined with a terrible twos toddler throwing a temper tantrum and you MAY have what I was that week. Poor RCW. It was a catch-22 that he was out of town. He was saved from the full wrath, but him being gone only lead to more of my outlashes because he wasn't here to help me with the dogs and the house and it just escalated. I mean, if he's always out of town now, he'll always be out of town and will miss not just our baby's entire life, but will miss the pregnancy. Oh yea. Throw into crazy lady temper tantrum toddler a big 'ol pot of What If Worries and well, you get the idea. That was my LAST round of 100mg Clomid.
This time I was prepping for the end of days with 150mg. And well, nothing really happened. My face is clear. I've actually been cold, but that could be snow, ice and 20 degree weather. And my biggest emotional meltdown was last night on the very last day when RCW informed me he'd be working out of town the week between Christmas and New Years when I'm off from work. But it wasn't even 5% of what was the cycle before. No tears. No screams. No arguments. Just simple frustration with RCW's current employer. In addition to not having those bad Clomid effects, I have noticed some tweaks and possible feelings in my ovaries. I don't know, maybe I'm imagining it, but I swear I've felt something so I'm *hoping* I'm feeling at least a few follies that are big and mature and ready for a HCG trigger shot.
We shall see. I've been more relaxed this cycle because despite my Christmas miracle hopes, I also feel like we're finishing this IUI cycle and will go into 2011 preparing for IVF. So I've kinda been half assed this cycle on not drinking my Starbuck's Peppermint Mocha or enjoying a full of caffeine Mountain Dew. I've indulged and enjoyed every second. I've been trying to live life and enjoy what we have now before everything changes when we do get our sweet little one.
Since we're caught up, I probably won't have daily posts anymore. We'll be transitioning back to a couple times a week. And I'm hesitant to post the end of our 2ww. I don't want to post negative results and I also don't want to post positive. Please just bear with me and stay on board while we navigate this current cycle.
Oh and pray for a ice storm to really hit Louisville tonight. I would love a snow (ice) day!
I have ideas on things to say. They happen when I'm driving or when I'm being lazy watching TV, playing on Facebook and cleaning out my Reader. But when it comes to sitting down to write, bleh. I got comfy and honestly haven't really written for a good month or so now. Now, I need to climb back on the horse or push off on my bike pedals or whatever other metaphor you can imagine.
I know you all want to be 100% caught up on our IF journey so in this post I'll stick to the facts. I'm on CD8. I just finished yesterday my 5 days of 150mg Clomid. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Saturday in Cincinnati with Dr. S's partner, Dr. A. Its for CD11. I'm not sure why because their offices are open 7 days a week, but whatev. Depending on what we see, I'm guessing the IUI will be on Monday or Tuesday next week on CD13 and CD14.
As far as the meds go...with this cycle I just don't know what to think. I don't want to get my hopes up, but who am I kidding, they are up! For starters, my birthday is Monday. I'm taking that as a good sign. Christmas is next Saturday. I'm praying we're going to have a birthday/Christmas miracle and we'll get pregnant and have a baby due right before our 2 year wedding anniversary in September 2011. Yea, I have high hopes of fate working this round, but I must admit its a jaded hope. I've been let down before. So in the split second I'm feeling great, half a second later, I'm doubtful and feel as though I'm jinxing myself. But back to the meds...
Clomid 150mg. If you all recall, my last round of Clomid at just 100mg was not pretty. I didn't post as openly and honestly because I was embarrassed by my hormonal side effects the last round. Not only did my face break out something horrible, but I experienced almost constant hot flashes and the absolute worst - I was a holy terror. Imagine the unimaginable crazy lady combined with a terrible twos toddler throwing a temper tantrum and you MAY have what I was that week. Poor RCW. It was a catch-22 that he was out of town. He was saved from the full wrath, but him being gone only lead to more of my outlashes because he wasn't here to help me with the dogs and the house and it just escalated. I mean, if he's always out of town now, he'll always be out of town and will miss not just our baby's entire life, but will miss the pregnancy. Oh yea. Throw into crazy lady temper tantrum toddler a big 'ol pot of What If Worries and well, you get the idea. That was my LAST round of 100mg Clomid.
This time I was prepping for the end of days with 150mg. And well, nothing really happened. My face is clear. I've actually been cold, but that could be snow, ice and 20 degree weather. And my biggest emotional meltdown was last night on the very last day when RCW informed me he'd be working out of town the week between Christmas and New Years when I'm off from work. But it wasn't even 5% of what was the cycle before. No tears. No screams. No arguments. Just simple frustration with RCW's current employer. In addition to not having those bad Clomid effects, I have noticed some tweaks and possible feelings in my ovaries. I don't know, maybe I'm imagining it, but I swear I've felt something so I'm *hoping* I'm feeling at least a few follies that are big and mature and ready for a HCG trigger shot.
We shall see. I've been more relaxed this cycle because despite my Christmas miracle hopes, I also feel like we're finishing this IUI cycle and will go into 2011 preparing for IVF. So I've kinda been half assed this cycle on not drinking my Starbuck's Peppermint Mocha or enjoying a full of caffeine Mountain Dew. I've indulged and enjoyed every second. I've been trying to live life and enjoy what we have now before everything changes when we do get our sweet little one.
Since we're caught up, I probably won't have daily posts anymore. We'll be transitioning back to a couple times a week. And I'm hesitant to post the end of our 2ww. I don't want to post negative results and I also don't want to post positive. Please just bear with me and stay on board while we navigate this current cycle.
Oh and pray for a ice storm to really hit Louisville tonight. I would love a snow (ice) day!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Day...I don't even know
Originally blogged December 7, 2010
*****
I stopped taking Prometrium last Friday, December 3. I was anticipating I wouldn't see dear old Auntie until mid December based on my last experience with it back in July. I'm suppose to greet her 7 - 14 days after I stop taking the meds, but in August, she arrived ON day 14. It was uber annoying. So this time, I prepared myself. She wouldn't be here until December 17.
Guess what?!
I think she's coming early!
Or I'll be spotting for the next 10 days.
*****
I stopped taking Prometrium last Friday, December 3. I was anticipating I wouldn't see dear old Auntie until mid December based on my last experience with it back in July. I'm suppose to greet her 7 - 14 days after I stop taking the meds, but in August, she arrived ON day 14. It was uber annoying. So this time, I prepared myself. She wouldn't be here until December 17.
Guess what?!
I think she's coming early!
Or I'll be spotting for the next 10 days.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
IUI#4 - the one that didn't happen
Originally blogged on November 27, 2010
*****
We had our second ultrasound this morning. It showed the same thing it showed on Wednesday. I have between 8-10 follies between my two ovaries, but none are mature. One on my right was trying to grow. It was bigger than the others. But it wasn't big enough. The silver lining - my uterine lining. It was thick and perfect. It just needed a fertilized egg.
Dr. S. confirmed what I knew as soon as he 'wanded' over to my right ovary and I saw the numerous little black spots. No IUI#4. Which I am happy we aren't wasting a cycle.
Then I got the news I wasn't expecting.
We won't wait for my period to show up, we'll make it. I'll start taking Prometrium today for 7 days and hopefully dear 'ol AF will arrive soon there after. Then I'll start Clomid again, but we're upping my dose to 150mg instead of the typical 100mg. Thank goodness we are changing SOMETHING! I probably would have gone off on Dr. S if he wanted to maintain the same protocol for this next round.
IF Clomid 150mg doesn't do anything for me, we'll discuss injectables via IUI. He is hesitant to put me on injectables because as he said, we know I can produce eggs. They just aren't growing and are waiting for the hormones to mature them. With young PCOS patients, he is weary of injectable IUIs because of the higher chance of high multiples. If all 8-10 of my current follies responded well to the injectable hormones, who knows what could happen. While we would be thrilled with twins or even triplets, any more than that would be overwhelming! He said with IVF he can control how many embryos he puts back in my body and that IVF also has higher success rates and typically is the equivalent to 3-4 IUIs. Of course, the cost is up there. We did not talk cost today at all. Dr. S. actually stopped the IVF conversation because he wants to continue another 1-2 IUIs (IUI#4 & 5) before even looking at IVF. I told him I understood, I just wanted to know what the next steps could possibly be.
So there ya go...we're on hold. And I'm drinking Wallaby Darneds at Outback and enjoying Starbuck's Peppermint Mochas for the next 7 days while I take the Prometrium!
*****
We had our second ultrasound this morning. It showed the same thing it showed on Wednesday. I have between 8-10 follies between my two ovaries, but none are mature. One on my right was trying to grow. It was bigger than the others. But it wasn't big enough. The silver lining - my uterine lining. It was thick and perfect. It just needed a fertilized egg.
Dr. S. confirmed what I knew as soon as he 'wanded' over to my right ovary and I saw the numerous little black spots. No IUI#4. Which I am happy we aren't wasting a cycle.
Then I got the news I wasn't expecting.
We won't wait for my period to show up, we'll make it. I'll start taking Prometrium today for 7 days and hopefully dear 'ol AF will arrive soon there after. Then I'll start Clomid again, but we're upping my dose to 150mg instead of the typical 100mg. Thank goodness we are changing SOMETHING! I probably would have gone off on Dr. S if he wanted to maintain the same protocol for this next round.
IF Clomid 150mg doesn't do anything for me, we'll discuss injectables via IUI. He is hesitant to put me on injectables because as he said, we know I can produce eggs. They just aren't growing and are waiting for the hormones to mature them. With young PCOS patients, he is weary of injectable IUIs because of the higher chance of high multiples. If all 8-10 of my current follies responded well to the injectable hormones, who knows what could happen. While we would be thrilled with twins or even triplets, any more than that would be overwhelming! He said with IVF he can control how many embryos he puts back in my body and that IVF also has higher success rates and typically is the equivalent to 3-4 IUIs. Of course, the cost is up there. We did not talk cost today at all. Dr. S. actually stopped the IVF conversation because he wants to continue another 1-2 IUIs (IUI#4 & 5) before even looking at IVF. I told him I understood, I just wanted to know what the next steps could possibly be.
So there ya go...we're on hold. And I'm drinking Wallaby Darneds at Outback and enjoying Starbuck's Peppermint Mochas for the next 7 days while I take the Prometrium!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
IUI#4 Ultrasound
Originally blogged on November 24, 2010
*****
It did not go well this morning.
I drove up to Cincinnati, arrived early and listened to Cycle Day 11 & 12 Circle+Bloom. I was relaxed. I was calm. I could see my follicles in my ovaries pink and glowing and healthy. Ready to make a baby. I walked into the office and waited. There were at least 5 other couples there together. I was alone. It sucked, despite knowing I didn't need RCW there for the ultrasound. I just felt lonely and nervous.
Finally they called me back and Dr. S came in. Quick and right to the point.
My uterine lining was good and was coming along nicely at 8.7mm. Then he scanned my right ovary. Nothing. Actually that isn't true. There were numerous polycystic follicles in there. I wasn't too upset because my right NEVER performs well. I still had my left! I still had hope. He moved the wand over and there was cramping and there in that ovary was nothing. Hope was lost. More tiny follicles.
He told me that I couldn't trigger or schedule the IUI because the follicles weren't ready. Then he asked if I could come back up Saturday for another ultrasound.
Sure, what else do we have going on?
So yea, I can't drink because I don't know for certain whats going on. I don't want to lose all hope. I don't want to think I'm going to have the IUI. I'm just a bit lost. I suppose there is SOME hope as Dr. S said to think happy ovary thoughts. Funny, I thought thats what I was doing with C+B.
On today's session they did say that I should let go and let it be. That this isn't a race and that I should encourage my follicles and eggs to grow at their own speed. Perhaps, I should listen and remember that slow and steady wins the race.
Right?
*****
It did not go well this morning.
I drove up to Cincinnati, arrived early and listened to Cycle Day 11 & 12 Circle+Bloom. I was relaxed. I was calm. I could see my follicles in my ovaries pink and glowing and healthy. Ready to make a baby. I walked into the office and waited. There were at least 5 other couples there together. I was alone. It sucked, despite knowing I didn't need RCW there for the ultrasound. I just felt lonely and nervous.
Finally they called me back and Dr. S came in. Quick and right to the point.
My uterine lining was good and was coming along nicely at 8.7mm. Then he scanned my right ovary. Nothing. Actually that isn't true. There were numerous polycystic follicles in there. I wasn't too upset because my right NEVER performs well. I still had my left! I still had hope. He moved the wand over and there was cramping and there in that ovary was nothing. Hope was lost. More tiny follicles.
He told me that I couldn't trigger or schedule the IUI because the follicles weren't ready. Then he asked if I could come back up Saturday for another ultrasound.
Sure, what else do we have going on?
So yea, I can't drink because I don't know for certain whats going on. I don't want to lose all hope. I don't want to think I'm going to have the IUI. I'm just a bit lost. I suppose there is SOME hope as Dr. S said to think happy ovary thoughts. Funny, I thought thats what I was doing with C+B.
On today's session they did say that I should let go and let it be. That this isn't a race and that I should encourage my follicles and eggs to grow at their own speed. Perhaps, I should listen and remember that slow and steady wins the race.
Right?
Friday, December 10, 2010
Cycle 9 CD11
Originally blogged on November 23, 2010
*****
Today is day 11 on our 9th cycle. NINE! How did we get here?! Honestly, sometimes I'm just not sure. I have really great days and then I have R-E-A-L-L-Y bad days. This cycle has been full of bad. The Clomid, still at just 100mg, is perhaps the culprit. I've been hot.hot.hot since I started the medicine. Its not just hot flashes, its a hot spell. My emotions have been all over the place. I'm feeling a bit like a bipolar infertile lately. I've lost my temper, I've cried harder than I've ever cried before in my life and I've been super happy (like when watching Harry Potter and Christmas shopping on the weekends). RCW has been out of town at least one night a week and sometimes 3 nights a week since July too. Its just been A LOT.
Sometimes I think I should cancel IUI#4 because I've been such a sour puss lately and even though the Circle + Bloom has helped me relax and my shoulders aren't as tight as usual, I'm still a Negative Nancy. Part of me actually hopes that at my ultrasound tomorrow there aren't any mature follies so we don't waste a cycle, but I also know that if there aren't any, I'll be really upset because it will be a wasted cycle. All the meds, emotions and craziness all for naught.
Sigh.
I'm just not sure what to feel. Mentally, I'm already preparing for IVF. I've contacted a trusted acupunturist to start sessions once we know IUI#4 didn't work. I've contacted a local couple who used Dr. S and had twins through IVF (they just turned a year old this past weekend!). I feel as though I've lost all hope on IUIs working for us.
I also am a wee bit miserable with the holidays here. I thought we'd be pregnant by now. Actually, I thought we'd have an infant by now. And we don't. And I don't feel like we're any closer to getting to that point.
I definitely need some hope and faith and love put back into my heart. Maybe that will happen tomorrow at the ultrasound...
*****
Today is day 11 on our 9th cycle. NINE! How did we get here?! Honestly, sometimes I'm just not sure. I have really great days and then I have R-E-A-L-L-Y bad days. This cycle has been full of bad. The Clomid, still at just 100mg, is perhaps the culprit. I've been hot.hot.hot since I started the medicine. Its not just hot flashes, its a hot spell. My emotions have been all over the place. I'm feeling a bit like a bipolar infertile lately. I've lost my temper, I've cried harder than I've ever cried before in my life and I've been super happy (like when watching Harry Potter and Christmas shopping on the weekends). RCW has been out of town at least one night a week and sometimes 3 nights a week since July too. Its just been A LOT.
Sometimes I think I should cancel IUI#4 because I've been such a sour puss lately and even though the Circle + Bloom has helped me relax and my shoulders aren't as tight as usual, I'm still a Negative Nancy. Part of me actually hopes that at my ultrasound tomorrow there aren't any mature follies so we don't waste a cycle, but I also know that if there aren't any, I'll be really upset because it will be a wasted cycle. All the meds, emotions and craziness all for naught.
Sigh.
I'm just not sure what to feel. Mentally, I'm already preparing for IVF. I've contacted a trusted acupunturist to start sessions once we know IUI#4 didn't work. I've contacted a local couple who used Dr. S and had twins through IVF (they just turned a year old this past weekend!). I feel as though I've lost all hope on IUIs working for us.
I also am a wee bit miserable with the holidays here. I thought we'd be pregnant by now. Actually, I thought we'd have an infant by now. And we don't. And I don't feel like we're any closer to getting to that point.
I definitely need some hope and faith and love put back into my heart. Maybe that will happen tomorrow at the ultrasound...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Circle + Bloom
Originally blogged on November 18, 2010
*****
On Monday, CD3, RCW was out of town and I broke down and bought C+B's IUI/IVF session. I had talked it up to him previously but he wasn't sold. He's not so much into eastern-new wave-yoga-visualization medicine. Thus, he thought I was wasting our money if I purchased these sessions. Me, on the other hand, was totally bought into it after listening to the free session! I held off on purchasing until I knew IUI#3 didn't work, but Monday night after taking my first dose of Clomid and RCW being gone, I caved. I did use a discount code so it only cost $50. I downloaded them and put them onto my ipod.
Monday night, after saying goodnight to RCW, I turned off the lights, took off my glasses, put on the headphones and listened to the session for CD3&4. I tried to do exactly what Joanne told me to do, I relaxed and tried to see my muscles and my body within my mind's eye. I went to my happy place and swept away my fears and anxieties. I must admit, I drifted a couple of times. The soothing music and being deeply relaxed, I would fall asleep and then literally jump from being startled when hearing Joanne's voice loudly in my ears! But I will say, Monday night I slept the best I have ever slept when RCW is out of town!
Tuesday night I listened to the same session. This time I didn't drift. I wasn't as tired as the night before. I'm glad I didn't fall asleep, the purpose isn't to be a sleep session, but to help me maintain positivity and stay relaxed during my cycle. I enjoyed hearing the bits and pieces I drifted through the night before!
Wednesday night I got to hear a new session, CD5&6. Again, it was awesome. I feel like each night I'm getting stronger and more adept at visualizing what Joanne is telling me to see and thus I'm getting more from the session. I also really enjoy when she talks about our emotional states. I was moved when I heard her saying we must remember that the past is the past and just because something happened in the past, it doesn't mean it will always happen again. I think I needed to hear that twofold. Just because I miscarried once, doesn't mean it will happen again AND just because my 3 previous IUI's haven't led to a baby doesn't mean this won't work.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves, who is Joanne and what in the world are you visualizing in your mind's eye!? I know, I know, it sounds a bit absurd as I write it and I swear I'm still a gun toting conservative despite my slip into something a bit hippy or granola as my friends call it! But the bottom line is after 3 nights of listening to the sessions, I feel more relaxed. I look forward to going to bed to hear what will be said and apply it to either my tight shoulders or the fears and worries I have about this, our final IUI cycle. At the end of the day, in the grand scheme of this baby making ride, $50 isn't a whole lot and anything that will help me live stress free and relaxed is worth learning how to visualize a positive energy field engulfing my body.
PS: For those who listen to C+B and to those who want a laugh...my energy field is pink. Joanne said to pick a positive happy color and pink popped into my head. And while I would be over the moon thrilled with a baby boy or baby girl, I couldn't help but wonder if my pink energy field will compromise the possible gender. And yes, these thoughts really did go through my head!
PPS: Joanne is the owner/founder/voice of Circle+Bloom. She's the calming voice walking you through the sessions and I decided I would call her out instead of just referring to the voice.
Circle+Bloom did not compensate me any way. The thoughts and opinions above are my own and I paid full price plus the 15% friend discount that is going around for C+B.
*****
On Monday, CD3, RCW was out of town and I broke down and bought C+B's IUI/IVF session. I had talked it up to him previously but he wasn't sold. He's not so much into eastern-new wave-yoga-visualization medicine. Thus, he thought I was wasting our money if I purchased these sessions. Me, on the other hand, was totally bought into it after listening to the free session! I held off on purchasing until I knew IUI#3 didn't work, but Monday night after taking my first dose of Clomid and RCW being gone, I caved. I did use a discount code so it only cost $50. I downloaded them and put them onto my ipod.
Monday night, after saying goodnight to RCW, I turned off the lights, took off my glasses, put on the headphones and listened to the session for CD3&4. I tried to do exactly what Joanne told me to do, I relaxed and tried to see my muscles and my body within my mind's eye. I went to my happy place and swept away my fears and anxieties. I must admit, I drifted a couple of times. The soothing music and being deeply relaxed, I would fall asleep and then literally jump from being startled when hearing Joanne's voice loudly in my ears! But I will say, Monday night I slept the best I have ever slept when RCW is out of town!
Tuesday night I listened to the same session. This time I didn't drift. I wasn't as tired as the night before. I'm glad I didn't fall asleep, the purpose isn't to be a sleep session, but to help me maintain positivity and stay relaxed during my cycle. I enjoyed hearing the bits and pieces I drifted through the night before!
Wednesday night I got to hear a new session, CD5&6. Again, it was awesome. I feel like each night I'm getting stronger and more adept at visualizing what Joanne is telling me to see and thus I'm getting more from the session. I also really enjoy when she talks about our emotional states. I was moved when I heard her saying we must remember that the past is the past and just because something happened in the past, it doesn't mean it will always happen again. I think I needed to hear that twofold. Just because I miscarried once, doesn't mean it will happen again AND just because my 3 previous IUI's haven't led to a baby doesn't mean this won't work.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves, who is Joanne and what in the world are you visualizing in your mind's eye!? I know, I know, it sounds a bit absurd as I write it and I swear I'm still a gun toting conservative despite my slip into something a bit hippy or granola as my friends call it! But the bottom line is after 3 nights of listening to the sessions, I feel more relaxed. I look forward to going to bed to hear what will be said and apply it to either my tight shoulders or the fears and worries I have about this, our final IUI cycle. At the end of the day, in the grand scheme of this baby making ride, $50 isn't a whole lot and anything that will help me live stress free and relaxed is worth learning how to visualize a positive energy field engulfing my body.
PS: For those who listen to C+B and to those who want a laugh...my energy field is pink. Joanne said to pick a positive happy color and pink popped into my head. And while I would be over the moon thrilled with a baby boy or baby girl, I couldn't help but wonder if my pink energy field will compromise the possible gender. And yes, these thoughts really did go through my head!
PPS: Joanne is the owner/founder/voice of Circle+Bloom. She's the calming voice walking you through the sessions and I decided I would call her out instead of just referring to the voice.
Circle+Bloom did not compensate me any way. The thoughts and opinions above are my own and I paid full price plus the 15% friend discount that is going around for C+B.
What's Next...
Originally blogged on November 17, 2010
*****
On Monday nurse Christi called me from the RE's office. She said that since AF started on Saturday night to count Saturday as CD1. That meant on Monday, it was CD3. Nurse Christi informed me that Dr. S wants me to do another round of Clomid for IUI#4.
Sigh.
That was NOT what I wanted, but what say do I really have at this point? I want to roll into this cycle and not miss one. I don't want to take a break. I want to get pregnant.
I inquired why we were doing another Clomid cycle and Nurse Christi told me that since I'm responding to the Clomid (per my ultrasounds and the fact that I keep getting my period) Dr. S wouldn't want to give me anything stronger like injectables. He wouldn't want to overstimulate me. And I get it, I get it. I don't want to be Octomom, nor do I want to be even be Kate + 8 with her sextuplets. I'm not trying to stuff as many babies inside my uterus as possible, I just want better chances at getting one baby!
My mindset is this...
-IUI#1, the u/s showed one big mature follicle. It didn't work.
-IUI#2, the u/s showed 2 big mature follies on my left and 1 decent follie on my right. It worked. We were pregnant. It wasn't healthy.
-IUI#3, the u/s showed one big mature follie. Seriously, Dr. S told me it could work, but there was no chance of multiples with that one. Yea, it didn't work.
Logically, the more follies I have the better my chances of one working and getting it right, right!?
But no, no drugs. No shots. No new medicine or even higher doses of Clomid. Just the same routine that hasn't worked the last 3 cycles.
Sigh.
I started Clomid on Monday, November 15. My Ovidrel shot will arrive on Friday, November 19. I go in for my u/s on Wednesday, November 24. My guess...IUI#4 will be on Friday, November 26. No Black Friday shopping for us *wink*
*****
On Monday nurse Christi called me from the RE's office. She said that since AF started on Saturday night to count Saturday as CD1. That meant on Monday, it was CD3. Nurse Christi informed me that Dr. S wants me to do another round of Clomid for IUI#4.
Sigh.
That was NOT what I wanted, but what say do I really have at this point? I want to roll into this cycle and not miss one. I don't want to take a break. I want to get pregnant.
I inquired why we were doing another Clomid cycle and Nurse Christi told me that since I'm responding to the Clomid (per my ultrasounds and the fact that I keep getting my period) Dr. S wouldn't want to give me anything stronger like injectables. He wouldn't want to overstimulate me. And I get it, I get it. I don't want to be Octomom, nor do I want to be even be Kate + 8 with her sextuplets. I'm not trying to stuff as many babies inside my uterus as possible, I just want better chances at getting one baby!
My mindset is this...
-IUI#1, the u/s showed one big mature follicle. It didn't work.
-IUI#2, the u/s showed 2 big mature follies on my left and 1 decent follie on my right. It worked. We were pregnant. It wasn't healthy.
-IUI#3, the u/s showed one big mature follie. Seriously, Dr. S told me it could work, but there was no chance of multiples with that one. Yea, it didn't work.
Logically, the more follies I have the better my chances of one working and getting it right, right!?
But no, no drugs. No shots. No new medicine or even higher doses of Clomid. Just the same routine that hasn't worked the last 3 cycles.
Sigh.
I started Clomid on Monday, November 15. My Ovidrel shot will arrive on Friday, November 19. I go in for my u/s on Wednesday, November 24. My guess...IUI#4 will be on Friday, November 26. No Black Friday shopping for us *wink*
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
IUI#3 = Fail
Originally blogged on November 14, 2010
*****
It's official. Last night while at the YUM Center with RCW and our amazing friends the E's, I went to the bathroom before heading to my seat to enjoy some Dane Cook funniness and saw 'bright red, full flow'. Luckily, I had a pad on just in case due to the spotting I'd been noticing since Friday afternoon.
AF arrived. I suppose maybe she is why I've been so tired. Honestly, I was in bed Friday night by 9pm, woke up at 9am and took a 3 hour nap Saturday afternoon before getting up to get ready for our night out. I was in bed by 11:30pm Saturday night, we slept in until almost 9:30am this morning and yet again, I took a nap this afternoon for a good hour. And I feel confident I'll be in bed around 8-8:30pm tonight. What in the world is going on with me!? AND my nausea hasn't subsided. Thankfully, I haven't thrown up and I have been able to eat, but I wake up feeling sick, like dry heave sick, and that feeling stays with me for a good 70-80% of the day, depending on my activity level.
Sigh.
I am SUPER happy we didn't have a repeat of IUI#2. I don't think I could have handled losing a second baby, especially back to back. I would have blamed myself and blamed the lack of progesterone supplement. Also, I'm glad IUI#4 won't be pushed back any further...
I called the RE's office this morning and left a message. I didn't hear back and I'm hoping its because they want to talk to Dr. S. I made it very clear in my message that I had done 3 rounds of Clomid with Dr. S and 3 rounds of Clomid with my OB in the spring for a grand total of 6 and it had not worked and I would like to move on to something else for IUI#4. I'm hoping its injectables. Isn't that sick!? But I'm done, this is our last IUI chance and lets go all out, balls to the wall with it. I want something new, something different and I'm hoping with higher doses of meds through shots, I'll have more follicles. I can't say I'm surprised IUI#3 didn't work since we only had 1 decent follicle at our CD12 u/s. Sometimes I wish we'd waited, but what happened, happened and it was meant to be. God has a plan for us.
I am nervous about the shots because RCW is out of town Monday - Thursday this week and I'm sure you can recall from IUI#2, I suck at giving myself a shot. I seriously may enlist the help of above friend Mrs. E who has diabetes and has given herself shots before. Thankfully, I think she loves me and would do it, if I asked her to. We'll see what happens when I hear back from the RE tomorrow.
At this point the IUI schedule falls right over Thanksgiving. We already told families we wouldn't be back to RVA this year and no one is coming out to us. It'll be our very first major holiday in 5 years with just the 2 of us and I'm ok with that. We'll still cook and celebrate and hopefully be very thankful for the little baby we'll be growing!
*****
It's official. Last night while at the YUM Center with RCW and our amazing friends the E's, I went to the bathroom before heading to my seat to enjoy some Dane Cook funniness and saw 'bright red, full flow'. Luckily, I had a pad on just in case due to the spotting I'd been noticing since Friday afternoon.
AF arrived. I suppose maybe she is why I've been so tired. Honestly, I was in bed Friday night by 9pm, woke up at 9am and took a 3 hour nap Saturday afternoon before getting up to get ready for our night out. I was in bed by 11:30pm Saturday night, we slept in until almost 9:30am this morning and yet again, I took a nap this afternoon for a good hour. And I feel confident I'll be in bed around 8-8:30pm tonight. What in the world is going on with me!? AND my nausea hasn't subsided. Thankfully, I haven't thrown up and I have been able to eat, but I wake up feeling sick, like dry heave sick, and that feeling stays with me for a good 70-80% of the day, depending on my activity level.
Sigh.
I am SUPER happy we didn't have a repeat of IUI#2. I don't think I could have handled losing a second baby, especially back to back. I would have blamed myself and blamed the lack of progesterone supplement. Also, I'm glad IUI#4 won't be pushed back any further...
I called the RE's office this morning and left a message. I didn't hear back and I'm hoping its because they want to talk to Dr. S. I made it very clear in my message that I had done 3 rounds of Clomid with Dr. S and 3 rounds of Clomid with my OB in the spring for a grand total of 6 and it had not worked and I would like to move on to something else for IUI#4. I'm hoping its injectables. Isn't that sick!? But I'm done, this is our last IUI chance and lets go all out, balls to the wall with it. I want something new, something different and I'm hoping with higher doses of meds through shots, I'll have more follicles. I can't say I'm surprised IUI#3 didn't work since we only had 1 decent follicle at our CD12 u/s. Sometimes I wish we'd waited, but what happened, happened and it was meant to be. God has a plan for us.
I am nervous about the shots because RCW is out of town Monday - Thursday this week and I'm sure you can recall from IUI#2, I suck at giving myself a shot. I seriously may enlist the help of above friend Mrs. E who has diabetes and has given herself shots before. Thankfully, I think she loves me and would do it, if I asked her to. We'll see what happens when I hear back from the RE tomorrow.
At this point the IUI schedule falls right over Thanksgiving. We already told families we wouldn't be back to RVA this year and no one is coming out to us. It'll be our very first major holiday in 5 years with just the 2 of us and I'm ok with that. We'll still cook and celebrate and hopefully be very thankful for the little baby we'll be growing!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
BFN
Originally blogged at November 13, 2010
*****
Woke up. Temp at 6:00am was 97.3. (Temp last night was 97.6).
POAS this morning. 3 minutes later, BFN appeared via words from the EPT digital.
sadface.
*However, still zero sign of AF. No spotting, no bleeding. Still feeling nauseous. Still feeling tired. Still seeing more discharge than usual. TERRIFIED a repeat of IUI#2 will happen again.*
*****
Woke up. Temp at 6:00am was 97.3. (Temp last night was 97.6).
POAS this morning. 3 minutes later, BFN appeared via words from the EPT digital.
sadface.
*However, still zero sign of AF. No spotting, no bleeding. Still feeling nauseous. Still feeling tired. Still seeing more discharge than usual. TERRIFIED a repeat of IUI#2 will happen again.*
Monday, December 6, 2010
my temperature may be tricking me
Originally blogged on November 12, 2010
*****
I didn't say this yesterday, but back in the spring when all of this TTC was new and exciting, I tried charting my temperature. It lasted a full 16 days. The issue was this: I don't wake up at the same time every day. On Monday I may be up at 6am, but on Tuesday it may be 7:30am and on the weekends it leans towards 8 or 8:30am. My temperature was ALL over the place - up and down and completely erratic. It wasn't doing me any good in determining if I was ovulating or anything else baby related so I stopped. Here is a chart from those 16 days. And proof, it was worthless.
My average temperature based on my readings from those 16 days is 97.06 and we'll round up to 97.1. I told you last week when I was hot hot hot and thought perhaps I was running a temperature it was only 97.0 at 5pm in the evening. I feel pretty confident my normal body temperature is around 97.0.
Which makes the fact that yesterday morning at 6:30am my BBT was 97.7; last night before bed at 10pm my BBT was 97.8; and this morning at 5:30am (I told you I don't get up at a regular time) when the house was a whopping 60 degrees because we didn't have the heat on last night, my BBT was again 97.8, make me wonder...This is a whopping difference of 0.6 from my 'normal' temp.
I still haven't had a sign of spotting or bleeding and I'm watching my toilet paper like a hawk and over analyzing the tissue designs to ensure I don't miss something and I still feel sick about 80% of the day. I wake up with energy, but by the time I take a shower, get ready and drive to work, I'm ready for a nap again. I know I'm not imagining all of this - I know my temperature is higher, I know I haven't seen any blood, I know I feel sick to my stomach and I know I'm tired, but even though the tiniest glimmer of hope shines through today at 11:15am I'm still terrified to go to the bathroom and see bright red blood. I'm terrified of taking a HPT and seeing a negative result. I don't want to get too optimistic or hopeful, I don't want to have my heart broken by falling for these 'symptoms'.
But without a doubt my temperature is higher now in November 2010 than it ever was in April/May of 2010!
*****
I didn't say this yesterday, but back in the spring when all of this TTC was new and exciting, I tried charting my temperature. It lasted a full 16 days. The issue was this: I don't wake up at the same time every day. On Monday I may be up at 6am, but on Tuesday it may be 7:30am and on the weekends it leans towards 8 or 8:30am. My temperature was ALL over the place - up and down and completely erratic. It wasn't doing me any good in determining if I was ovulating or anything else baby related so I stopped. Here is a chart from those 16 days. And proof, it was worthless.
My average temperature based on my readings from those 16 days is 97.06 and we'll round up to 97.1. I told you last week when I was hot hot hot and thought perhaps I was running a temperature it was only 97.0 at 5pm in the evening. I feel pretty confident my normal body temperature is around 97.0.Which makes the fact that yesterday morning at 6:30am my BBT was 97.7; last night before bed at 10pm my BBT was 97.8; and this morning at 5:30am (I told you I don't get up at a regular time) when the house was a whopping 60 degrees because we didn't have the heat on last night, my BBT was again 97.8, make me wonder...This is a whopping difference of 0.6 from my 'normal' temp.
I still haven't had a sign of spotting or bleeding and I'm watching my toilet paper like a hawk and over analyzing the tissue designs to ensure I don't miss something and I still feel sick about 80% of the day. I wake up with energy, but by the time I take a shower, get ready and drive to work, I'm ready for a nap again. I know I'm not imagining all of this - I know my temperature is higher, I know I haven't seen any blood, I know I feel sick to my stomach and I know I'm tired, but even though the tiniest glimmer of hope shines through today at 11:15am I'm still terrified to go to the bathroom and see bright red blood. I'm terrified of taking a HPT and seeing a negative result. I don't want to get too optimistic or hopeful, I don't want to have my heart broken by falling for these 'symptoms'.
But without a doubt my temperature is higher now in November 2010 than it ever was in April/May of 2010!
My temperature is rising
Originally blogged on November 10, 2010
*****
So, as I've mentioned I have days where I feel pregnant and others where I don't. I'm a mess and all the while I'm thinking and planning ahead for the next IUI cycle and then the IVF cycle that will follow. But I've been feeling nauseous, I've been super sleepy and I've been drinking much more and peeing much more than usual. I took an online "are you pregnant" quiz and scored 6 out of 10. Its just so hard because so many of the early pregnancy symptoms could be pre AF symptoms too. I haven't thrown up, my areolas aren't darker and I can't see the veins in my boobs.
Last night I decided I would take my temperature in the morning to see if it was elevated. I put the thermometer on the nightstand. This morning, I woke up and forgot, of course. I got up, went to the bathroom and as I was peeing, anxiously waiting to see if when I wiped there would be blood, I remembered. Once I was done (and there was no blood), I went back to bed, sat on the side and took my temperature. It beeped, beeped, beeped and came in at 97.7.
Now, I must admit I haven't been charting so I don't know what this really means. But I can tell you that with the crazy weather in town our thermostat is off because while its 50 in the mornings, its 75 by afternoon. I slept in flannel sheets and a down comforter with no heat on last night. This morning our thermostat read 63 degrees. I can also tell you I normally run between 97.0 and 97.2. Last week I was really hot and thought I was sick so I took my temp and it came in at 97.0.
All of these things I know about my body make me believe 97.7 is a bit elevated for my normal self. I'll take it again tomorrow morning.
I also bought a 3 pack of Clear Busy Easy Digital HPTs today. I want to be prepared.
But I'm also looking at the calendar to plan for IUI#4...which, should AF CD1 be this Saturday, fall on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
I'm all over the place.
*****
So, as I've mentioned I have days where I feel pregnant and others where I don't. I'm a mess and all the while I'm thinking and planning ahead for the next IUI cycle and then the IVF cycle that will follow. But I've been feeling nauseous, I've been super sleepy and I've been drinking much more and peeing much more than usual. I took an online "are you pregnant" quiz and scored 6 out of 10. Its just so hard because so many of the early pregnancy symptoms could be pre AF symptoms too. I haven't thrown up, my areolas aren't darker and I can't see the veins in my boobs.
Last night I decided I would take my temperature in the morning to see if it was elevated. I put the thermometer on the nightstand. This morning, I woke up and forgot, of course. I got up, went to the bathroom and as I was peeing, anxiously waiting to see if when I wiped there would be blood, I remembered. Once I was done (and there was no blood), I went back to bed, sat on the side and took my temperature. It beeped, beeped, beeped and came in at 97.7.
Now, I must admit I haven't been charting so I don't know what this really means. But I can tell you that with the crazy weather in town our thermostat is off because while its 50 in the mornings, its 75 by afternoon. I slept in flannel sheets and a down comforter with no heat on last night. This morning our thermostat read 63 degrees. I can also tell you I normally run between 97.0 and 97.2. Last week I was really hot and thought I was sick so I took my temp and it came in at 97.0.
All of these things I know about my body make me believe 97.7 is a bit elevated for my normal self. I'll take it again tomorrow morning.
I also bought a 3 pack of Clear Busy Easy Digital HPTs today. I want to be prepared.
But I'm also looking at the calendar to plan for IUI#4...which, should AF CD1 be this Saturday, fall on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
I'm all over the place.
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