Originally blogged December 7, 2010
*****
I stopped taking Prometrium last Friday, December 3. I was anticipating I wouldn't see dear old Auntie until mid December based on my last experience with it back in July. I'm suppose to greet her 7 - 14 days after I stop taking the meds, but in August, she arrived ON day 14. It was uber annoying. So this time, I prepared myself. She wouldn't be here until December 17.
Guess what?!
I think she's coming early!
Or I'll be spotting for the next 10 days.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
IUI#4 - the one that didn't happen
Originally blogged on November 27, 2010
*****
We had our second ultrasound this morning. It showed the same thing it showed on Wednesday. I have between 8-10 follies between my two ovaries, but none are mature. One on my right was trying to grow. It was bigger than the others. But it wasn't big enough. The silver lining - my uterine lining. It was thick and perfect. It just needed a fertilized egg.
Dr. S. confirmed what I knew as soon as he 'wanded' over to my right ovary and I saw the numerous little black spots. No IUI#4. Which I am happy we aren't wasting a cycle.
Then I got the news I wasn't expecting.
We won't wait for my period to show up, we'll make it. I'll start taking Prometrium today for 7 days and hopefully dear 'ol AF will arrive soon there after. Then I'll start Clomid again, but we're upping my dose to 150mg instead of the typical 100mg. Thank goodness we are changing SOMETHING! I probably would have gone off on Dr. S if he wanted to maintain the same protocol for this next round.
IF Clomid 150mg doesn't do anything for me, we'll discuss injectables via IUI. He is hesitant to put me on injectables because as he said, we know I can produce eggs. They just aren't growing and are waiting for the hormones to mature them. With young PCOS patients, he is weary of injectable IUIs because of the higher chance of high multiples. If all 8-10 of my current follies responded well to the injectable hormones, who knows what could happen. While we would be thrilled with twins or even triplets, any more than that would be overwhelming! He said with IVF he can control how many embryos he puts back in my body and that IVF also has higher success rates and typically is the equivalent to 3-4 IUIs. Of course, the cost is up there. We did not talk cost today at all. Dr. S. actually stopped the IVF conversation because he wants to continue another 1-2 IUIs (IUI#4 & 5) before even looking at IVF. I told him I understood, I just wanted to know what the next steps could possibly be.
So there ya go...we're on hold. And I'm drinking Wallaby Darneds at Outback and enjoying Starbuck's Peppermint Mochas for the next 7 days while I take the Prometrium!
*****
We had our second ultrasound this morning. It showed the same thing it showed on Wednesday. I have between 8-10 follies between my two ovaries, but none are mature. One on my right was trying to grow. It was bigger than the others. But it wasn't big enough. The silver lining - my uterine lining. It was thick and perfect. It just needed a fertilized egg.
Dr. S. confirmed what I knew as soon as he 'wanded' over to my right ovary and I saw the numerous little black spots. No IUI#4. Which I am happy we aren't wasting a cycle.
Then I got the news I wasn't expecting.
We won't wait for my period to show up, we'll make it. I'll start taking Prometrium today for 7 days and hopefully dear 'ol AF will arrive soon there after. Then I'll start Clomid again, but we're upping my dose to 150mg instead of the typical 100mg. Thank goodness we are changing SOMETHING! I probably would have gone off on Dr. S if he wanted to maintain the same protocol for this next round.
IF Clomid 150mg doesn't do anything for me, we'll discuss injectables via IUI. He is hesitant to put me on injectables because as he said, we know I can produce eggs. They just aren't growing and are waiting for the hormones to mature them. With young PCOS patients, he is weary of injectable IUIs because of the higher chance of high multiples. If all 8-10 of my current follies responded well to the injectable hormones, who knows what could happen. While we would be thrilled with twins or even triplets, any more than that would be overwhelming! He said with IVF he can control how many embryos he puts back in my body and that IVF also has higher success rates and typically is the equivalent to 3-4 IUIs. Of course, the cost is up there. We did not talk cost today at all. Dr. S. actually stopped the IVF conversation because he wants to continue another 1-2 IUIs (IUI#4 & 5) before even looking at IVF. I told him I understood, I just wanted to know what the next steps could possibly be.
So there ya go...we're on hold. And I'm drinking Wallaby Darneds at Outback and enjoying Starbuck's Peppermint Mochas for the next 7 days while I take the Prometrium!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
IUI#4 Ultrasound
Originally blogged on November 24, 2010
*****
It did not go well this morning.
I drove up to Cincinnati, arrived early and listened to Cycle Day 11 & 12 Circle+Bloom. I was relaxed. I was calm. I could see my follicles in my ovaries pink and glowing and healthy. Ready to make a baby. I walked into the office and waited. There were at least 5 other couples there together. I was alone. It sucked, despite knowing I didn't need RCW there for the ultrasound. I just felt lonely and nervous.
Finally they called me back and Dr. S came in. Quick and right to the point.
My uterine lining was good and was coming along nicely at 8.7mm. Then he scanned my right ovary. Nothing. Actually that isn't true. There were numerous polycystic follicles in there. I wasn't too upset because my right NEVER performs well. I still had my left! I still had hope. He moved the wand over and there was cramping and there in that ovary was nothing. Hope was lost. More tiny follicles.
He told me that I couldn't trigger or schedule the IUI because the follicles weren't ready. Then he asked if I could come back up Saturday for another ultrasound.
Sure, what else do we have going on?
So yea, I can't drink because I don't know for certain whats going on. I don't want to lose all hope. I don't want to think I'm going to have the IUI. I'm just a bit lost. I suppose there is SOME hope as Dr. S said to think happy ovary thoughts. Funny, I thought thats what I was doing with C+B.
On today's session they did say that I should let go and let it be. That this isn't a race and that I should encourage my follicles and eggs to grow at their own speed. Perhaps, I should listen and remember that slow and steady wins the race.
Right?
*****
It did not go well this morning.
I drove up to Cincinnati, arrived early and listened to Cycle Day 11 & 12 Circle+Bloom. I was relaxed. I was calm. I could see my follicles in my ovaries pink and glowing and healthy. Ready to make a baby. I walked into the office and waited. There were at least 5 other couples there together. I was alone. It sucked, despite knowing I didn't need RCW there for the ultrasound. I just felt lonely and nervous.
Finally they called me back and Dr. S came in. Quick and right to the point.
My uterine lining was good and was coming along nicely at 8.7mm. Then he scanned my right ovary. Nothing. Actually that isn't true. There were numerous polycystic follicles in there. I wasn't too upset because my right NEVER performs well. I still had my left! I still had hope. He moved the wand over and there was cramping and there in that ovary was nothing. Hope was lost. More tiny follicles.
He told me that I couldn't trigger or schedule the IUI because the follicles weren't ready. Then he asked if I could come back up Saturday for another ultrasound.
Sure, what else do we have going on?
So yea, I can't drink because I don't know for certain whats going on. I don't want to lose all hope. I don't want to think I'm going to have the IUI. I'm just a bit lost. I suppose there is SOME hope as Dr. S said to think happy ovary thoughts. Funny, I thought thats what I was doing with C+B.
On today's session they did say that I should let go and let it be. That this isn't a race and that I should encourage my follicles and eggs to grow at their own speed. Perhaps, I should listen and remember that slow and steady wins the race.
Right?
Friday, December 10, 2010
Cycle 9 CD11
Originally blogged on November 23, 2010
*****
Today is day 11 on our 9th cycle. NINE! How did we get here?! Honestly, sometimes I'm just not sure. I have really great days and then I have R-E-A-L-L-Y bad days. This cycle has been full of bad. The Clomid, still at just 100mg, is perhaps the culprit. I've been hot.hot.hot since I started the medicine. Its not just hot flashes, its a hot spell. My emotions have been all over the place. I'm feeling a bit like a bipolar infertile lately. I've lost my temper, I've cried harder than I've ever cried before in my life and I've been super happy (like when watching Harry Potter and Christmas shopping on the weekends). RCW has been out of town at least one night a week and sometimes 3 nights a week since July too. Its just been A LOT.
Sometimes I think I should cancel IUI#4 because I've been such a sour puss lately and even though the Circle + Bloom has helped me relax and my shoulders aren't as tight as usual, I'm still a Negative Nancy. Part of me actually hopes that at my ultrasound tomorrow there aren't any mature follies so we don't waste a cycle, but I also know that if there aren't any, I'll be really upset because it will be a wasted cycle. All the meds, emotions and craziness all for naught.
Sigh.
I'm just not sure what to feel. Mentally, I'm already preparing for IVF. I've contacted a trusted acupunturist to start sessions once we know IUI#4 didn't work. I've contacted a local couple who used Dr. S and had twins through IVF (they just turned a year old this past weekend!). I feel as though I've lost all hope on IUIs working for us.
I also am a wee bit miserable with the holidays here. I thought we'd be pregnant by now. Actually, I thought we'd have an infant by now. And we don't. And I don't feel like we're any closer to getting to that point.
I definitely need some hope and faith and love put back into my heart. Maybe that will happen tomorrow at the ultrasound...
*****
Today is day 11 on our 9th cycle. NINE! How did we get here?! Honestly, sometimes I'm just not sure. I have really great days and then I have R-E-A-L-L-Y bad days. This cycle has been full of bad. The Clomid, still at just 100mg, is perhaps the culprit. I've been hot.hot.hot since I started the medicine. Its not just hot flashes, its a hot spell. My emotions have been all over the place. I'm feeling a bit like a bipolar infertile lately. I've lost my temper, I've cried harder than I've ever cried before in my life and I've been super happy (like when watching Harry Potter and Christmas shopping on the weekends). RCW has been out of town at least one night a week and sometimes 3 nights a week since July too. Its just been A LOT.
Sometimes I think I should cancel IUI#4 because I've been such a sour puss lately and even though the Circle + Bloom has helped me relax and my shoulders aren't as tight as usual, I'm still a Negative Nancy. Part of me actually hopes that at my ultrasound tomorrow there aren't any mature follies so we don't waste a cycle, but I also know that if there aren't any, I'll be really upset because it will be a wasted cycle. All the meds, emotions and craziness all for naught.
Sigh.
I'm just not sure what to feel. Mentally, I'm already preparing for IVF. I've contacted a trusted acupunturist to start sessions once we know IUI#4 didn't work. I've contacted a local couple who used Dr. S and had twins through IVF (they just turned a year old this past weekend!). I feel as though I've lost all hope on IUIs working for us.
I also am a wee bit miserable with the holidays here. I thought we'd be pregnant by now. Actually, I thought we'd have an infant by now. And we don't. And I don't feel like we're any closer to getting to that point.
I definitely need some hope and faith and love put back into my heart. Maybe that will happen tomorrow at the ultrasound...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Circle + Bloom
Originally blogged on November 18, 2010
*****
On Monday, CD3, RCW was out of town and I broke down and bought C+B's IUI/IVF session. I had talked it up to him previously but he wasn't sold. He's not so much into eastern-new wave-yoga-visualization medicine. Thus, he thought I was wasting our money if I purchased these sessions. Me, on the other hand, was totally bought into it after listening to the free session! I held off on purchasing until I knew IUI#3 didn't work, but Monday night after taking my first dose of Clomid and RCW being gone, I caved. I did use a discount code so it only cost $50. I downloaded them and put them onto my ipod.
Monday night, after saying goodnight to RCW, I turned off the lights, took off my glasses, put on the headphones and listened to the session for CD3&4. I tried to do exactly what Joanne told me to do, I relaxed and tried to see my muscles and my body within my mind's eye. I went to my happy place and swept away my fears and anxieties. I must admit, I drifted a couple of times. The soothing music and being deeply relaxed, I would fall asleep and then literally jump from being startled when hearing Joanne's voice loudly in my ears! But I will say, Monday night I slept the best I have ever slept when RCW is out of town!
Tuesday night I listened to the same session. This time I didn't drift. I wasn't as tired as the night before. I'm glad I didn't fall asleep, the purpose isn't to be a sleep session, but to help me maintain positivity and stay relaxed during my cycle. I enjoyed hearing the bits and pieces I drifted through the night before!
Wednesday night I got to hear a new session, CD5&6. Again, it was awesome. I feel like each night I'm getting stronger and more adept at visualizing what Joanne is telling me to see and thus I'm getting more from the session. I also really enjoy when she talks about our emotional states. I was moved when I heard her saying we must remember that the past is the past and just because something happened in the past, it doesn't mean it will always happen again. I think I needed to hear that twofold. Just because I miscarried once, doesn't mean it will happen again AND just because my 3 previous IUI's haven't led to a baby doesn't mean this won't work.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves, who is Joanne and what in the world are you visualizing in your mind's eye!? I know, I know, it sounds a bit absurd as I write it and I swear I'm still a gun toting conservative despite my slip into something a bit hippy or granola as my friends call it! But the bottom line is after 3 nights of listening to the sessions, I feel more relaxed. I look forward to going to bed to hear what will be said and apply it to either my tight shoulders or the fears and worries I have about this, our final IUI cycle. At the end of the day, in the grand scheme of this baby making ride, $50 isn't a whole lot and anything that will help me live stress free and relaxed is worth learning how to visualize a positive energy field engulfing my body.
PS: For those who listen to C+B and to those who want a laugh...my energy field is pink. Joanne said to pick a positive happy color and pink popped into my head. And while I would be over the moon thrilled with a baby boy or baby girl, I couldn't help but wonder if my pink energy field will compromise the possible gender. And yes, these thoughts really did go through my head!
PPS: Joanne is the owner/founder/voice of Circle+Bloom. She's the calming voice walking you through the sessions and I decided I would call her out instead of just referring to the voice.
Circle+Bloom did not compensate me any way. The thoughts and opinions above are my own and I paid full price plus the 15% friend discount that is going around for C+B.
*****
On Monday, CD3, RCW was out of town and I broke down and bought C+B's IUI/IVF session. I had talked it up to him previously but he wasn't sold. He's not so much into eastern-new wave-yoga-visualization medicine. Thus, he thought I was wasting our money if I purchased these sessions. Me, on the other hand, was totally bought into it after listening to the free session! I held off on purchasing until I knew IUI#3 didn't work, but Monday night after taking my first dose of Clomid and RCW being gone, I caved. I did use a discount code so it only cost $50. I downloaded them and put them onto my ipod.
Monday night, after saying goodnight to RCW, I turned off the lights, took off my glasses, put on the headphones and listened to the session for CD3&4. I tried to do exactly what Joanne told me to do, I relaxed and tried to see my muscles and my body within my mind's eye. I went to my happy place and swept away my fears and anxieties. I must admit, I drifted a couple of times. The soothing music and being deeply relaxed, I would fall asleep and then literally jump from being startled when hearing Joanne's voice loudly in my ears! But I will say, Monday night I slept the best I have ever slept when RCW is out of town!
Tuesday night I listened to the same session. This time I didn't drift. I wasn't as tired as the night before. I'm glad I didn't fall asleep, the purpose isn't to be a sleep session, but to help me maintain positivity and stay relaxed during my cycle. I enjoyed hearing the bits and pieces I drifted through the night before!
Wednesday night I got to hear a new session, CD5&6. Again, it was awesome. I feel like each night I'm getting stronger and more adept at visualizing what Joanne is telling me to see and thus I'm getting more from the session. I also really enjoy when she talks about our emotional states. I was moved when I heard her saying we must remember that the past is the past and just because something happened in the past, it doesn't mean it will always happen again. I think I needed to hear that twofold. Just because I miscarried once, doesn't mean it will happen again AND just because my 3 previous IUI's haven't led to a baby doesn't mean this won't work.
Now some of you may be saying to yourselves, who is Joanne and what in the world are you visualizing in your mind's eye!? I know, I know, it sounds a bit absurd as I write it and I swear I'm still a gun toting conservative despite my slip into something a bit hippy or granola as my friends call it! But the bottom line is after 3 nights of listening to the sessions, I feel more relaxed. I look forward to going to bed to hear what will be said and apply it to either my tight shoulders or the fears and worries I have about this, our final IUI cycle. At the end of the day, in the grand scheme of this baby making ride, $50 isn't a whole lot and anything that will help me live stress free and relaxed is worth learning how to visualize a positive energy field engulfing my body.
PS: For those who listen to C+B and to those who want a laugh...my energy field is pink. Joanne said to pick a positive happy color and pink popped into my head. And while I would be over the moon thrilled with a baby boy or baby girl, I couldn't help but wonder if my pink energy field will compromise the possible gender. And yes, these thoughts really did go through my head!
PPS: Joanne is the owner/founder/voice of Circle+Bloom. She's the calming voice walking you through the sessions and I decided I would call her out instead of just referring to the voice.
Circle+Bloom did not compensate me any way. The thoughts and opinions above are my own and I paid full price plus the 15% friend discount that is going around for C+B.
What's Next...
Originally blogged on November 17, 2010
*****
On Monday nurse Christi called me from the RE's office. She said that since AF started on Saturday night to count Saturday as CD1. That meant on Monday, it was CD3. Nurse Christi informed me that Dr. S wants me to do another round of Clomid for IUI#4.
Sigh.
That was NOT what I wanted, but what say do I really have at this point? I want to roll into this cycle and not miss one. I don't want to take a break. I want to get pregnant.
I inquired why we were doing another Clomid cycle and Nurse Christi told me that since I'm responding to the Clomid (per my ultrasounds and the fact that I keep getting my period) Dr. S wouldn't want to give me anything stronger like injectables. He wouldn't want to overstimulate me. And I get it, I get it. I don't want to be Octomom, nor do I want to be even be Kate + 8 with her sextuplets. I'm not trying to stuff as many babies inside my uterus as possible, I just want better chances at getting one baby!
My mindset is this...
-IUI#1, the u/s showed one big mature follicle. It didn't work.
-IUI#2, the u/s showed 2 big mature follies on my left and 1 decent follie on my right. It worked. We were pregnant. It wasn't healthy.
-IUI#3, the u/s showed one big mature follie. Seriously, Dr. S told me it could work, but there was no chance of multiples with that one. Yea, it didn't work.
Logically, the more follies I have the better my chances of one working and getting it right, right!?
But no, no drugs. No shots. No new medicine or even higher doses of Clomid. Just the same routine that hasn't worked the last 3 cycles.
Sigh.
I started Clomid on Monday, November 15. My Ovidrel shot will arrive on Friday, November 19. I go in for my u/s on Wednesday, November 24. My guess...IUI#4 will be on Friday, November 26. No Black Friday shopping for us *wink*
*****
On Monday nurse Christi called me from the RE's office. She said that since AF started on Saturday night to count Saturday as CD1. That meant on Monday, it was CD3. Nurse Christi informed me that Dr. S wants me to do another round of Clomid for IUI#4.
Sigh.
That was NOT what I wanted, but what say do I really have at this point? I want to roll into this cycle and not miss one. I don't want to take a break. I want to get pregnant.
I inquired why we were doing another Clomid cycle and Nurse Christi told me that since I'm responding to the Clomid (per my ultrasounds and the fact that I keep getting my period) Dr. S wouldn't want to give me anything stronger like injectables. He wouldn't want to overstimulate me. And I get it, I get it. I don't want to be Octomom, nor do I want to be even be Kate + 8 with her sextuplets. I'm not trying to stuff as many babies inside my uterus as possible, I just want better chances at getting one baby!
My mindset is this...
-IUI#1, the u/s showed one big mature follicle. It didn't work.
-IUI#2, the u/s showed 2 big mature follies on my left and 1 decent follie on my right. It worked. We were pregnant. It wasn't healthy.
-IUI#3, the u/s showed one big mature follie. Seriously, Dr. S told me it could work, but there was no chance of multiples with that one. Yea, it didn't work.
Logically, the more follies I have the better my chances of one working and getting it right, right!?
But no, no drugs. No shots. No new medicine or even higher doses of Clomid. Just the same routine that hasn't worked the last 3 cycles.
Sigh.
I started Clomid on Monday, November 15. My Ovidrel shot will arrive on Friday, November 19. I go in for my u/s on Wednesday, November 24. My guess...IUI#4 will be on Friday, November 26. No Black Friday shopping for us *wink*
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
IUI#3 = Fail
Originally blogged on November 14, 2010
*****
It's official. Last night while at the YUM Center with RCW and our amazing friends the E's, I went to the bathroom before heading to my seat to enjoy some Dane Cook funniness and saw 'bright red, full flow'. Luckily, I had a pad on just in case due to the spotting I'd been noticing since Friday afternoon.
AF arrived. I suppose maybe she is why I've been so tired. Honestly, I was in bed Friday night by 9pm, woke up at 9am and took a 3 hour nap Saturday afternoon before getting up to get ready for our night out. I was in bed by 11:30pm Saturday night, we slept in until almost 9:30am this morning and yet again, I took a nap this afternoon for a good hour. And I feel confident I'll be in bed around 8-8:30pm tonight. What in the world is going on with me!? AND my nausea hasn't subsided. Thankfully, I haven't thrown up and I have been able to eat, but I wake up feeling sick, like dry heave sick, and that feeling stays with me for a good 70-80% of the day, depending on my activity level.
Sigh.
I am SUPER happy we didn't have a repeat of IUI#2. I don't think I could have handled losing a second baby, especially back to back. I would have blamed myself and blamed the lack of progesterone supplement. Also, I'm glad IUI#4 won't be pushed back any further...
I called the RE's office this morning and left a message. I didn't hear back and I'm hoping its because they want to talk to Dr. S. I made it very clear in my message that I had done 3 rounds of Clomid with Dr. S and 3 rounds of Clomid with my OB in the spring for a grand total of 6 and it had not worked and I would like to move on to something else for IUI#4. I'm hoping its injectables. Isn't that sick!? But I'm done, this is our last IUI chance and lets go all out, balls to the wall with it. I want something new, something different and I'm hoping with higher doses of meds through shots, I'll have more follicles. I can't say I'm surprised IUI#3 didn't work since we only had 1 decent follicle at our CD12 u/s. Sometimes I wish we'd waited, but what happened, happened and it was meant to be. God has a plan for us.
I am nervous about the shots because RCW is out of town Monday - Thursday this week and I'm sure you can recall from IUI#2, I suck at giving myself a shot. I seriously may enlist the help of above friend Mrs. E who has diabetes and has given herself shots before. Thankfully, I think she loves me and would do it, if I asked her to. We'll see what happens when I hear back from the RE tomorrow.
At this point the IUI schedule falls right over Thanksgiving. We already told families we wouldn't be back to RVA this year and no one is coming out to us. It'll be our very first major holiday in 5 years with just the 2 of us and I'm ok with that. We'll still cook and celebrate and hopefully be very thankful for the little baby we'll be growing!
*****
It's official. Last night while at the YUM Center with RCW and our amazing friends the E's, I went to the bathroom before heading to my seat to enjoy some Dane Cook funniness and saw 'bright red, full flow'. Luckily, I had a pad on just in case due to the spotting I'd been noticing since Friday afternoon.
AF arrived. I suppose maybe she is why I've been so tired. Honestly, I was in bed Friday night by 9pm, woke up at 9am and took a 3 hour nap Saturday afternoon before getting up to get ready for our night out. I was in bed by 11:30pm Saturday night, we slept in until almost 9:30am this morning and yet again, I took a nap this afternoon for a good hour. And I feel confident I'll be in bed around 8-8:30pm tonight. What in the world is going on with me!? AND my nausea hasn't subsided. Thankfully, I haven't thrown up and I have been able to eat, but I wake up feeling sick, like dry heave sick, and that feeling stays with me for a good 70-80% of the day, depending on my activity level.
Sigh.
I am SUPER happy we didn't have a repeat of IUI#2. I don't think I could have handled losing a second baby, especially back to back. I would have blamed myself and blamed the lack of progesterone supplement. Also, I'm glad IUI#4 won't be pushed back any further...
I called the RE's office this morning and left a message. I didn't hear back and I'm hoping its because they want to talk to Dr. S. I made it very clear in my message that I had done 3 rounds of Clomid with Dr. S and 3 rounds of Clomid with my OB in the spring for a grand total of 6 and it had not worked and I would like to move on to something else for IUI#4. I'm hoping its injectables. Isn't that sick!? But I'm done, this is our last IUI chance and lets go all out, balls to the wall with it. I want something new, something different and I'm hoping with higher doses of meds through shots, I'll have more follicles. I can't say I'm surprised IUI#3 didn't work since we only had 1 decent follicle at our CD12 u/s. Sometimes I wish we'd waited, but what happened, happened and it was meant to be. God has a plan for us.
I am nervous about the shots because RCW is out of town Monday - Thursday this week and I'm sure you can recall from IUI#2, I suck at giving myself a shot. I seriously may enlist the help of above friend Mrs. E who has diabetes and has given herself shots before. Thankfully, I think she loves me and would do it, if I asked her to. We'll see what happens when I hear back from the RE tomorrow.
At this point the IUI schedule falls right over Thanksgiving. We already told families we wouldn't be back to RVA this year and no one is coming out to us. It'll be our very first major holiday in 5 years with just the 2 of us and I'm ok with that. We'll still cook and celebrate and hopefully be very thankful for the little baby we'll be growing!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
BFN
Originally blogged at November 13, 2010
*****
Woke up. Temp at 6:00am was 97.3. (Temp last night was 97.6).
POAS this morning. 3 minutes later, BFN appeared via words from the EPT digital.
sadface.
*However, still zero sign of AF. No spotting, no bleeding. Still feeling nauseous. Still feeling tired. Still seeing more discharge than usual. TERRIFIED a repeat of IUI#2 will happen again.*
*****
Woke up. Temp at 6:00am was 97.3. (Temp last night was 97.6).
POAS this morning. 3 minutes later, BFN appeared via words from the EPT digital.
sadface.
*However, still zero sign of AF. No spotting, no bleeding. Still feeling nauseous. Still feeling tired. Still seeing more discharge than usual. TERRIFIED a repeat of IUI#2 will happen again.*
Monday, December 6, 2010
my temperature may be tricking me
Originally blogged on November 12, 2010
*****
I didn't say this yesterday, but back in the spring when all of this TTC was new and exciting, I tried charting my temperature. It lasted a full 16 days. The issue was this: I don't wake up at the same time every day. On Monday I may be up at 6am, but on Tuesday it may be 7:30am and on the weekends it leans towards 8 or 8:30am. My temperature was ALL over the place - up and down and completely erratic. It wasn't doing me any good in determining if I was ovulating or anything else baby related so I stopped. Here is a chart from those 16 days. And proof, it was worthless.
My average temperature based on my readings from those 16 days is 97.06 and we'll round up to 97.1. I told you last week when I was hot hot hot and thought perhaps I was running a temperature it was only 97.0 at 5pm in the evening. I feel pretty confident my normal body temperature is around 97.0.
Which makes the fact that yesterday morning at 6:30am my BBT was 97.7; last night before bed at 10pm my BBT was 97.8; and this morning at 5:30am (I told you I don't get up at a regular time) when the house was a whopping 60 degrees because we didn't have the heat on last night, my BBT was again 97.8, make me wonder...This is a whopping difference of 0.6 from my 'normal' temp.
I still haven't had a sign of spotting or bleeding and I'm watching my toilet paper like a hawk and over analyzing the tissue designs to ensure I don't miss something and I still feel sick about 80% of the day. I wake up with energy, but by the time I take a shower, get ready and drive to work, I'm ready for a nap again. I know I'm not imagining all of this - I know my temperature is higher, I know I haven't seen any blood, I know I feel sick to my stomach and I know I'm tired, but even though the tiniest glimmer of hope shines through today at 11:15am I'm still terrified to go to the bathroom and see bright red blood. I'm terrified of taking a HPT and seeing a negative result. I don't want to get too optimistic or hopeful, I don't want to have my heart broken by falling for these 'symptoms'.
But without a doubt my temperature is higher now in November 2010 than it ever was in April/May of 2010!
*****
I didn't say this yesterday, but back in the spring when all of this TTC was new and exciting, I tried charting my temperature. It lasted a full 16 days. The issue was this: I don't wake up at the same time every day. On Monday I may be up at 6am, but on Tuesday it may be 7:30am and on the weekends it leans towards 8 or 8:30am. My temperature was ALL over the place - up and down and completely erratic. It wasn't doing me any good in determining if I was ovulating or anything else baby related so I stopped. Here is a chart from those 16 days. And proof, it was worthless.
My average temperature based on my readings from those 16 days is 97.06 and we'll round up to 97.1. I told you last week when I was hot hot hot and thought perhaps I was running a temperature it was only 97.0 at 5pm in the evening. I feel pretty confident my normal body temperature is around 97.0.Which makes the fact that yesterday morning at 6:30am my BBT was 97.7; last night before bed at 10pm my BBT was 97.8; and this morning at 5:30am (I told you I don't get up at a regular time) when the house was a whopping 60 degrees because we didn't have the heat on last night, my BBT was again 97.8, make me wonder...This is a whopping difference of 0.6 from my 'normal' temp.
I still haven't had a sign of spotting or bleeding and I'm watching my toilet paper like a hawk and over analyzing the tissue designs to ensure I don't miss something and I still feel sick about 80% of the day. I wake up with energy, but by the time I take a shower, get ready and drive to work, I'm ready for a nap again. I know I'm not imagining all of this - I know my temperature is higher, I know I haven't seen any blood, I know I feel sick to my stomach and I know I'm tired, but even though the tiniest glimmer of hope shines through today at 11:15am I'm still terrified to go to the bathroom and see bright red blood. I'm terrified of taking a HPT and seeing a negative result. I don't want to get too optimistic or hopeful, I don't want to have my heart broken by falling for these 'symptoms'.
But without a doubt my temperature is higher now in November 2010 than it ever was in April/May of 2010!
My temperature is rising
Originally blogged on November 10, 2010
*****
So, as I've mentioned I have days where I feel pregnant and others where I don't. I'm a mess and all the while I'm thinking and planning ahead for the next IUI cycle and then the IVF cycle that will follow. But I've been feeling nauseous, I've been super sleepy and I've been drinking much more and peeing much more than usual. I took an online "are you pregnant" quiz and scored 6 out of 10. Its just so hard because so many of the early pregnancy symptoms could be pre AF symptoms too. I haven't thrown up, my areolas aren't darker and I can't see the veins in my boobs.
Last night I decided I would take my temperature in the morning to see if it was elevated. I put the thermometer on the nightstand. This morning, I woke up and forgot, of course. I got up, went to the bathroom and as I was peeing, anxiously waiting to see if when I wiped there would be blood, I remembered. Once I was done (and there was no blood), I went back to bed, sat on the side and took my temperature. It beeped, beeped, beeped and came in at 97.7.
Now, I must admit I haven't been charting so I don't know what this really means. But I can tell you that with the crazy weather in town our thermostat is off because while its 50 in the mornings, its 75 by afternoon. I slept in flannel sheets and a down comforter with no heat on last night. This morning our thermostat read 63 degrees. I can also tell you I normally run between 97.0 and 97.2. Last week I was really hot and thought I was sick so I took my temp and it came in at 97.0.
All of these things I know about my body make me believe 97.7 is a bit elevated for my normal self. I'll take it again tomorrow morning.
I also bought a 3 pack of Clear Busy Easy Digital HPTs today. I want to be prepared.
But I'm also looking at the calendar to plan for IUI#4...which, should AF CD1 be this Saturday, fall on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
I'm all over the place.
*****
So, as I've mentioned I have days where I feel pregnant and others where I don't. I'm a mess and all the while I'm thinking and planning ahead for the next IUI cycle and then the IVF cycle that will follow. But I've been feeling nauseous, I've been super sleepy and I've been drinking much more and peeing much more than usual. I took an online "are you pregnant" quiz and scored 6 out of 10. Its just so hard because so many of the early pregnancy symptoms could be pre AF symptoms too. I haven't thrown up, my areolas aren't darker and I can't see the veins in my boobs.
Last night I decided I would take my temperature in the morning to see if it was elevated. I put the thermometer on the nightstand. This morning, I woke up and forgot, of course. I got up, went to the bathroom and as I was peeing, anxiously waiting to see if when I wiped there would be blood, I remembered. Once I was done (and there was no blood), I went back to bed, sat on the side and took my temperature. It beeped, beeped, beeped and came in at 97.7.
Now, I must admit I haven't been charting so I don't know what this really means. But I can tell you that with the crazy weather in town our thermostat is off because while its 50 in the mornings, its 75 by afternoon. I slept in flannel sheets and a down comforter with no heat on last night. This morning our thermostat read 63 degrees. I can also tell you I normally run between 97.0 and 97.2. Last week I was really hot and thought I was sick so I took my temp and it came in at 97.0.
All of these things I know about my body make me believe 97.7 is a bit elevated for my normal self. I'll take it again tomorrow morning.
I also bought a 3 pack of Clear Busy Easy Digital HPTs today. I want to be prepared.
But I'm also looking at the calendar to plan for IUI#4...which, should AF CD1 be this Saturday, fall on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
I'm all over the place.
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